


Do Not Fear Normalcy

by Xienta



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Eventual Relationships, High School, M/M, non-despair
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-08-16 09:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 23,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8097262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xienta/pseuds/Xienta
Summary: -Discontinued-“Komaeda-kun, I would like to introduce you to the new participant in the Hope Cultivation Plan.” He waved his hand towards the brunet on the couch, urging him to get up. “He had the most outstanding grades in the reserve course, so we have high expectations of him.” The boy stood in front of him now, an arm outstretches confidently, a bright smile on his face as he was about to introduce himself.“I’m Hinata Hajime, nice to meet you.” Komaeda is forced to guide Hinata into the Hope Cultivation Plan, and he's not all too happy about it.





	1. Hope Cultivation Plan

**Author's Note:**

> So, this world is exactly like in danganronpa 3 zetsubou-hen, but without Junko Enoshima. Might be a little OOC since I would have no idea how Komaeda would react to an equal in pre-despair, so this is my gist of it.

The school’s gym was full of people, all the second year student in the main course were attending the public speaking of the headmaster, Jin Kirigiri. It was the second time they had gathered around to listen to the man speak, the first being their welcome ceremony last year.

Time sure did go by fast, it has already been a _full_ year. So many things had happened in the time Komaeda had joined the most prestige school in the country. Check that, in the _world_. He couldn’t help and muse to himself how extremely lucky he was to be accepted into the wonderful school. He looked around at the people in the rebuild gymnasium in awe, each and every single person in here had a _talent_. Every one of them containing a little piece of hope that Komaeda was so desperate to get himself.

Why the gym was rebuilt was another story for the next time. He sat down on a random chair, trying to be as close to the speaker as possible so he wouldn’t miss a word. He noticed some teacher sitting at the back, Yukizome, their homeroom teacher, being one of them. She always had a big smile on her face, never losing faith in her students even though they acted pretty reckless sometimes.

The room got noisier with the last of the students dripping in, carelessly chatting with one another, not really caring for the lecture at all. He would chat with his classmates as well if he would spot them, but it was just too crowded to find someone, they better not ditched the meeting.

A buzzing from the speaker caused everyone to silence, eyes turning towards the podium in front of them. Komaeda strained his ears to listen what the powerful man had to say, knowledge is power, after all. “I’d like to welcome everyone to their second year of your school life here at Hope’s Peak Academy.” The headmaster’s voice sounded smooth against the microphone, words dripping with authority as he continued. “Everyone should be aware of the ideals we stand for by now, to recruit and assist students’ who possess a special talent. So I would like to thank every single one of you for attending Hope’s Peak, without you magnificent students, we would be just another average school” Some clapping was heard, and he wasn’t sure if it was because of the speech of Kirigiri, or because of the compliment they had just received.

“What everyone also knows, is that we always strive to make this world a better place, to spread talent around the country as much as we can. That’s why I would like to introduce everyone to a new program that we, as Hope’s Peak Academy, have created to increase the amount of talented in this school.” Everyone got quiet, listening to the man before them intently. “I am talking about the _Hope Cultivation Plan_.” Komaeda had no idea what the plan was, but it _had_ to be good with that kind of title, right?

“In this program, we’ll assign five of our most exceptional sophomore reverse course students,” He held up his hand to signify the number. “And place one of each in a second-year class that has been chosen by our staff.” The white haired boy stilled at the influential man’s words. Are they planning on putting _normal_ students in the main course? That’s a horrible idea! They’ll interfere with the ultimates. Why would they even want to do such an absurd thing in the first place?

“With this, we’ll hope to analyze what the influence would be on a talentless person when one is around ultimates, and stimulated to keep up with them. We hope to see these participants pick up some of the main classes traits and maybe even recreate a talent themselves. We’ve handpicked the students who we would believe are capable of doing so.” Kirigiri took in a deep breath, needing oxygen after the long sentence before resuming again.

“Now, to assure a smooth transition, we have chosen a student in each class at random to guide and monitor the new student, we ask them to chaperone and properly guide them through the class life in the main course. They’ll also be held responsible for how well the new student will score on the end test and overall improvements. we ask for these students to participate in monthly screenings to discuss the process the cultivation student has made.”

“A more detailed form will be handed out to the students who’ve been chosen to participate in the program. Before anyone asks, you cannot resign from the program or you’ll risk detention. We require full obligated participation from you.” Some sighs and groans were heard in the gymnasium, students clearly unamused with the extra time and effort that was being thrown on their laps. Komaeda could see some girls next to him crossing their fingers as if begging not to be chosen. He felt a wave of unease settling on his stomach, he didn’t have a good feeling about this.

“Now, I would like to announce the classes that will participate in the Cultivation program. For the 77th class we’ve chosen reserve course student Hinata Hajime to attend the regular class agenda, he shall be guided by Komaeda Nagito. We hope you’ll all welcome him into your class and will provide him with the necessary care that is needed to join the program successfully-.”

Komaeda audibly groaned, drowning out the rest of the headmaster’s speech with a sigh. What good luck he had, being chosen to babysit an _equal_. He wanted to refuse, to say he wouldn’t participate in any of this, but the word ‘suspension’ was ringing in his ears. He already got suspended last year, when his luck caused him to accidently blow up the old school’s gymnasium. He wouldn’t be able to afford another one, since he’ll probably, most _definitely_ , get expelled then. Kirigiri was very impressed with his talent and couldn’t let go of him the first time, but the consequences of another suspension would be dire, no matter what talent he possessed.

He leaned his head against the palm of his hand, not bothering to listen what Kirigiri had to say anymore. Knowledge is power, but with great power comes great responsibilities, and said responsibilities could be a major pain in the ass. He heard some names he didn’t recognize flow through the speakers, some heavy sighs followed by some of the students in the room. He could hear the grunts of disapproval as another unlucky student was being saddled up with a lowly reserve course student. Komaeda vaguely heard something about the headmaster wanting to meet the named students in his office, later on, to introduce them to the participants. More like obnoxious lab rats, the boy sneered, he wasn’t in the mood for any of this, no matter how good his luck would be later on. He honestly wouldn’t mind passing this one up.

The speech had ended and everyone left the gymnasium. Komaeda followed the herd out with sunken shoulders, letting his feet drag him towards the headmaster’s office like he was going to get scolded for something. He tried to keep his usual façade up, a smile plastered forcefully on his face as he moved through the halls.

-

He was greeted into the office, a boy around 19 years old sitting on one of the leather couches with crossed legs. He seemed pretty lean build, a tight buttoned up shirt with a green tie adoring his frame. His hair was brown and he noted the weird strand standing up awkwardly, resisting the urge to push the ahoge down as he walked towards the middle of the room where the headmaster guided him to.

“Komaeda-kun, I would like to introduce you to Hinata Hajime.” He waved his hand towards the brunet on the couch, urging him to get up. “He had the most outstanding grades in the reserve course, so we have high expectations of him.” The boy, _Hinata_ , stood in front of him now, an arm outstretches confidently, a bright smile on his face as he was about to introduce himself.

Komaeda’s eyebrows shot up in disgust, only to receive a glare from Kirigiri. He crossed his arms like a little child not wanting to listen to his parent. “Now, you do realize what the consequences would be for you if you didn’t participate in the program… Right, Komaeda-kun.” His tone was strict and heavy, and it made his head hung low in an unspoken apology. He hated being scolded at, but he couldn’t afford being expelled. Raising his head up again, the cloud of white hair bouncing at the movement, he bitterly took the outstretched hand of Hinata, squeezing firmly as he looked into his green eyes harshly.

“I’m Hinata Hajime, nice to meet you.”

-

With a thick book in his hands, he was dismissed from the headmaster’s office. The book contained all information about the Cultivation program and the requirements of how to take notes on the progress. He needs to make a weekly report and every month they have an appointment with Kizakura, the school’s scout, to see if these is any processes talent wise. Apparently, they’ll only try this program for a year, and only the students who made a positive headway will be allowed to stay in the main course the next year.

Komaeda sighed, walking in tow with Hinata towards the exit. Classes wouldn’t start until tomorrow, and with no more presentations being held, the hallways were eerily quiet. They hadn’t said a word to each other, save for their meeting in Kirigiri’s office, and Komaeda would’ve liked to keep it that way.

“So… you live in the dorms here?” The white haired male just nodded, eyes still looking forward, not really caring to give a proper answer or make eye contact. “That’s cool. I just moved into the main course dorms as well. They’re a lot more private than the rooms in the reserve course.” Komaeda just ignored him, pretending to listen what the brunet next to him had to say while gripping the book in his hands firmly. The pest had already become annoying with his eagerness, he better not bother his classmates with these kinds of useless questions.

“Komaeda-kun… are you perhaps ignoring me?” A pale face snapped back to look towards Hinata, looking at him in disgust. “Look, I don’t want to be here and talk with trash like yourself, so don’t try to get all buddy-buddy with me, or the others, got that?” The brunet’s face looked in shock at the sudden outburst, and Komaeda _almost_ felt bad for him. He walked towards the door leading outside, pushing it open without looking back, he noticed the other stopped walking with him and stood still in the middle of the hallway, about to say something but deciding against it.

The heavy wooden door shut close, restricting the view of the troubled male who was now behind them. This was going to be a _long_ year, Komaeda thought as he walked towards his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /Because I need more sassy Komaeda in my life./


	2. A new face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Komaeda quietly slumped down against his chair, scribbling some nonsense in his notebook as the class around him started to get up and arrange things for their little party. The room soon was empty again, and Hinata just looked around in confusion as Yukizome frantically tried to get them back into the class again. “This sure is different than the reserve course.”

The first day of school had finally begun, but his usual excitement was drowned out by the truly disappointing situation he was thrown into. His usually wonderful class would now be tainted with a _normal_. It’s not that Komaeda disliked normal people or anything, they had their space in this world, ranks lower than the blessed, talented people. But the fact that he was forced into guiding one into his precious class made him tick.

Walking into the classroom he noticed said brunet sitting in the far corner of the class. Of course, he was seated right next to his desk as well, just his _luck_. He might’ve seriously lost his powers or something because nothing seemed to go his way anymore. He sat down on the wooden bench rather harshly, attracting the attention of Hinata for a little, he didn’t look at him but just rummaged through his bag instead.

Some of his classmates would always be fashionable late, he thought as he looked over some of the empty seats, Owari, Kuzuryuu and Pekoyama still weren’t present, even though the bell has already run, signifying them of the class starting. The people who were in the class scrambled to their desks at the sound, their teacher walking in as happily as ever.

“Hello, everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful break this year.” She tightened her pink apron as she looked over the classroom. “I see some of our classmates have yet to show up…” Scribbling something on the green board behind her rather sadly, she tried so hard to make the rebels of the class sit on their benches on time, and after countless scavenger hunts to look for them last year, she kind of gave up on the idea. They would usually come into the class after the first break period anyway.

“Now, as you would probably have noticed, we have a new face amongst us!” She clapped her hands together cheerfully, a cloud of white dust from the chalk leaving through her fingers as she did. “Since the lecture from Kirigiri-sama yesterday was quite detailed already, I’ll keep it short.” Waving against the brunet next to him, she urged him to get up and introduce himself to the class. “This is Hinata Hajime, he’ll join our class for this year, so make sure to give him a warm welcome, okay?” Placing her hands on his shoulders protectively, like she did to all of his classmates as if each and every one of the students in her class were her children.

A loud clatter of ‘hello’ and ‘welcome’ filled the room as Hinata waved politely at everyone. Komaeda didn’t say anything. “Nanami-chan, it would be absolutely splendid if we would be able to arrange a small welcoming party, right?” Sonja beamed as she clasped her hands together, nearly begging the class rep to host said party. “Yes! And Ibuki would take care of the music!” The punk girl stood up, pointing at herself when she talked in the third person. The entire class started to plan a little get together to welcome the new student in, and he wasn’t sure if it was because of their excitement of the new student, or to get out from schoolwork.

Komaeda quietly slumped down against his chair, scribbling some nonsense in his notebook as the class around him started to get up and arrange things for their little party. The room soon was empty again, and Hinata just looked around in confusion as Yukizome frantically tried to get them back into the class again. “This sure _is_ different than the reserve course.”

-

The next day, Wednesday, seemed to go by a lot quieter. Their teacher allowed them to have a party that one-time yesterday, but only if they would concentrate on schoolwork the rest of the week. Komaeda thought back at their little get-together, remember seeing Hinata socialize with the entire class. His classmates seemed to have taken a liking in the reserve course student, almost everyone wanted to spend time with the cheerful brunet, and he was all too happy to comply with their wishes. How he was able to win over the hearts of everyone was beyond Komaeda.

He wouldn’t be able to get along with an _equal_ , though. He shuddered at the thought, how disgraceful. The boy next to him had absolutely none of the shining hope inside of him that the ultimates did have, he was utterly _boring_. But his gray eyes couldn’t break away from the form that was Hinata, as if his body disagreed with his mind and that it was trying to tell him that, no, this boy wasn’t boring. His gaze shifted over his well fitted brown blazer, Hinata wasn’t particularly unattractive, on the contrary, actually. He was quite the good-looking boy. Maybe that’s why all the girls seemed to loom over the boy-.

Komaeda shook his head, such scandalous thoughts were expected for trash like himself, but he still didn’t enjoy the way they crept into his mind as if sneaking in uninvited. He had to concentrate on the lecture being given by Yukizome, anyway. He absentmindedly took notes of her explanation about math, scribbling in his handbook with his usual cursive handwriting. He remembered getting compliments for his writing from some of the girls before, and he didn’t know if he should take that as a compliment, or an insult for having a girly handwriting. He liked to be neat, and it showed in his writing.

He listened to the grunts of other students when they didn’t understand the problem on the board as he took notes. He couldn’t help but laugh when Saionji hit her head against the desk, groaning about how the numbers were too complicated. His laugh only causing her to give him a death stare, and he held up his hands defensively with a smile on his face. The day seemed to go on, as usual, Komaeda deciding not to think about the boy next to him anymore.

-

Tuesday Hinata came towards his table, leaning against the wood nonchalantly as he spoke. “The class had invited me to play a game at break time, would you like to join as well?” He was so considerate, and even though Komaeda gave him the cold shoulder ever since they met, he would still be so nice to invite him. Komaeda thought about it for a second before settling on his answer. “Sure, I’d love to if that wouldn’t be too much of a bother to the rest.” He stood up to follow Hinata, he just smiled his usual carefree smile back.

They walked toward an unattended room, where usually the television screens were being locked away for the movie presentations. Loud sounds of cheering could be heard from behind the door as they stood next to it. Komaeda stopped the brunet by grabbing his sleeve. “Why did you invite me, anyway?” He remembered that he would be invited to group activities when the first year just started, but after coming back from his suspension his classmates would always forget about him, leaving him alone at his desk. Only Nanami would try and include him, but being the class rep she was quite busy and wouldn’t have time to ask him every time. He was getting used to it. “You seemed pretty lonely, I’d figure you wanted to spend some time with the rest of the class.” Komaeda tsked, not wanting to feel the other’s pity as he opened the door to the room to stop the conversation.

His classmates didn’t even hear them enter as they were too occupied on the screen in front of them. The brightness of the television the only light source, casting the people in the back into darkness. Loud cheering at the racing game in front of them echoed in the room, Hinata simply walked to the crowd and sat next to Nanami. They seemed to be getting along very well, spending almost all their time together, then again, the brunet seemed to get along with everyone in the class.

Komaeda couldn’t help but envy the carefreeness of Hinata, he was jealous at how easily he fit in the class, even better than Komaeda did. He sighed, it’s not like he didn’t want to be friends with his classmates, but he was just too afraid to pull the ultimates down in his horrible luck cycle, they didn’t deserve that. He watched them play the game from a corner, just happy that he was there, even though nobody batted an eye to him.

A ‘game over’ screen popped up on the television, making some of the students switch place so the others could play at well. They seemed happy, carelessly chatting about while looking at the colorful lights once the images started to move again. Komaeda just stared at the screen, waiting for the break time to be over and head back to the class. Even though he wasn’t included, he still had fun.

-

“So, we need to write our weekly report, right?” Hinata propped his elbows on the wood his desk, totally not getting the obvious hint to stay away from him. It was Friday already, and Kirigiri had asked for them to mail them the first report to see if they did it properly before waiting an entire month for the scheduled appointment with Kizakura.

Not getting a proper answer, the brunet sighed and tried again. “Tell you what, I give you my number and if you want to start on it, you can text me.” Komaeda got a piece of ripped of paper with a bunch of number on it and took it anyway. He could try and do most of the report on his own, so Hinata wasn’t really needed.

“Thanks, but no thanks. I don’t need your help on this.” This startled the other boy, his mouth hanging agape. “But… the report is about me!?” Komaeda simply waved him off and told him not to worry, that he would work on it today and send it to the headmaster once he finished it. Hinata just turned around offended, leaving the classroom to probably hang out with his new-made friends.

The white haired male sighed as he grabbed a piece of paper and started to write down his report. He wondered briefly if it was possible that Hinata would get dismissed from the program if he half-assed it, only to realize he would probably be blamed for that. He still tried to fill in everything as best he could, even though the other boy _was_ needed to answer some of the questions. He didn’t worry about it too much as he scribbled down the words quickly, it would be good enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /Komaeda, stop being such a downer./


	3. Trash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A buzzing in his pocket returned him from his daze, lazily taking it from his pocket as he turned on the screen, looking internly at the text he just received on his phone. He didn’t recognize the number, and when he tried to think of who it might be his face fell into a frown.

It wasn’t good enough, Komaeda thought as he looked at his laptop screen. The word  _insufficient_  was boldly lit but the brightness of the screen. Kirigiri had replied almost immediately when he sent him the paper, urging him on to redo the report properly this time. Some rant about ‘participating in the program is obligatory’ and whatnot made the permanent smile on his face falter.

He let himself fall back against the cushion on his bed, it was Friday night now, and instead of doing something fun like mindlessly watching television or read a book, he was stuck writing a report about the reserve course student, _again_.

A buzzing in his pocket returned him from his daze, lazily taking it from his pocket as he turned on the screen, looking intently at the text he just received on his phone. He didn’t recognize the number, and when he tried to think of who it might be his face fell into a frown. 

 

**Unknown number:**

Hey.

 

Komaeda let his fingers glide over the touch screen of his phone, swiftly pressing the letter to form a quick reply at the unknown messenger.

 

**You:**

Who are you?

 

**Unknown number:**

It's me, Hinata Hajime.

I got your number from Nanami-chan since you wouldn't text me.

I would be nice if you replied, I can see you read my messages, you know.

 

He ignored the other for a bit, as he clicked on the ‘add contact’ button. Why did the other have to be so needy, he could’ve just waited until he would text him when he needed him. He laughed at his thoughts as if he ever needed the other. He typed in a name for him on his phone, something fitting for the other boy.

 

**You:**

Why would I reply to someone like you?

 

**Reserve course student:**

This again?

Why are you being so extremely difficult anyway.

 

**You:**

Because you and I are equal, and it disgusts me

You need to know your place in this society

and stay there

 

**Reserve course student:**

Geez, what's your problem!?

 

**You:**

You are,

You stained the hopeful class with your normalcy

 

Bitterness dripped from his texts, this was so unlike him, but he couldn’t help feeling such resentment for the other boy. He knew he was being unfair to him, but he stopped caring about that a long time ago. Looking at the text that he was ‘typing’ still made him irk in curiosity. If he would be able to give him a legit reason to help him, he’d probably oblige. Hinata was being one of the nicest to him since years, and he couldn’t help feel a little bad about treating him like trash, but it had to be for the greater hope in the end.

 

**Reserve course student:**

It's not like I want to be talentless you know.

I hate being average, to feel left behind in the shadows of the talented.

But just because I don't have an outstanding ability doesn’t mean I have to give up entirely, right?

I worked extremely hard to make myself important, and that's how I got into the program.

I feel like I’m finally getting there,

But I can't achieve my goal if you're being a little bitch about it.

 

**You:**

What's in it for me?

 

**Reserve course student:**

Well, for one you'd be one of the people who helped making the world a better place.

Imagine the possibilities if the project would actually succeed!?

You would participate in the first steps to creating a new hope for the future.

Maybe you would be able to help me create a talent myself or help someone else achieve that in the future.

Just try to think about it like that.

 

Komaeda stilled his fingers, taking in the words on the screen. Hinata sure was driven to make this work, his willpower was truly fascinating. He stared at the brightness in his hands, looking at the tiny bubble of text. The boy was so hopeful of his future, and maybe, just maybe, he would have that little spark of hope inside of him like the other ultimates had. And here he was being asked to let that glimmer of hope inside the boy shine brightly, he couldn’t say no to a speech like that.

 

**You:**

Fine

I'll help you, but only if you lick my shoes

 

**Reserve course student:**

What!?

 

**You:**

Just kidding! (~^▽^~)

But, I'll only help if you promise me not to stand in the way of the other students, 'kay

 

**Reserve course student:**

Deal.

 

**You:**

Ugh.

Now I have to redo this dumb paper since Kirigiri-sama said it wasn't good enough

 

**Reserve course student:**

I don't remember you asking me anything that was on the form to begin with...

 

**You:**

That's because I didn't ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

**Reserve course student:**

Then, of course, it's not sufficient enough, what were you thinking!? We're supposed to be a team here, you know.

 

**You:**

Now now, Hinata, You've forgotten the first rule of being a reserve course student

Don't look down on the ultimates

 

**Reserve course student:**

Hey, don't act so high and mighty all of the sudden.

I thought you said we were equals?

 

**You:**

Being equal to trash still makes you trash, you know

 

**Reserve course student:**

Don't say something harsh like that? Don't you have any manners whatsoever?

Why don't you send me some of the questions and I'll help you with it?

Like it was supposed to be.

 

**You:**

Fine (´Д`)

_Sending attachment 'ReportWK1.Doc’_

He sent him the document of the paper he filled in, feeling a little embarrassed of the horrible job he did on it, as he told him what Kirigiri had mailed a little earlier. They worked on improving the paper and making an _actual_ report this time. Chatting a bit lightheartedly in between, rude sentences transitioned into playful banter, making Komaeda laugh at Hinata’s overly serious answers. He was actually having fun talking with someone, it’s been a while that he didn’t have to be afraid what to say in a conversation, since it wouldn’t matter if he embarrassed himself in front of a reserve course student anyway.

 

**Reserve course student:**

Could we maybe talk normally this Monday?

I'd like to get to know you, especially since we're stuck with each other in this situation.

 

**You:**

I guess I don't really have much of a choice here, now do I?

Fine, I'll play along

You better not disappoint me, Hinata

 

**Reserve course student:**

I wouldn't dare.

Thank you, Komaeda-kun.

 

Komaeda shut down his phone, not know what to answer to that. He resent the improved document to the headmaster, hoping, this time, it would be good enough. Deciding he had deserved some time for himself, he grabbed one of the books he was reading on the nightstand and made himself comfortable on the bed, letting his hand glide down the smooth paper of the book. He enjoyed reading since the story would already have a written conclusion when he would start on the first page. He didn’t know why, but something that simply made him feel calm, calm knowing not _everything_ could be influenced by his luck. No matter how much he would want the story to end, his cycle of luck would never have an influence on it, and it was very reassuring to him.

He let his mind wander as he read the small, black text in front of him at lightning speed. Reading as much as he had, he became quite skilled at it, devouring books by the hour, only to grab a new one to compel into his satisfaction. He would be worried at how independent he had become of the books if he was able to spend the time with friends or family instead, but sadly for him, that wasn’t the case.

He spends the rest of the weekend drowned up by books in his dorm, waiting for school to start again Monday. This wasn’t the life he’d chosen, but rather, what he was forced to live.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /How to persuade Komaeda 101/
> 
> I wanted to make this chapter longer, but this was a hell to edit. If this format is too annoying to read, please let me know so I can try and change it.


	4. Ultimate pointy hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Komaeda leaned over in laughter, wheezing at the ridiculous answer. “If I would be that, you’d be ultimate pointy hair!” He pointed at the brown strands accusingly, a breathy giggle escaping his lips. “Nice try for a reserve course student.”

Komaeda ran through the hallways with his red tie loosely hung around his neck, rushing his way through the now empty hall. The bell had already rung twenty minutes ago and everyone was already attending their class like they were supposed to. He overslept, forgetting to set his alarm, only to wake up by a text from Hinata asking where he was. He quickly got up and dressed into his school uniform while brushing his teeth before dashing out of his dorm and hope for the best that he still would be reasonably on time.

Finally reaching the classroom 1-B he stilled before the door, trying to catch his breath before barging in. His classmates looked up in surprise, only to let half of the people’s faces fall into annoyance at seeing the boy leaning against the door. He quickly apologized before moving to his seat. Running made him extremely tired, and him skipping on breakfast didn’t really help him from the dizziness he was experiencing now. Fumbling with his tie at to make it look half decent as he listened to the lecture Yukizome was giving them. Something about having a new physical education program now that the gymnasium was fully rebuilt, he tried to pay attention to what she said, but a low laughter next to him caught his attention instead.

Hinata was snickering at him, more importantly, his hair. He forgot to brush it this morning in the hurry, and it probably looked like an absolute furry mess. He nonchalantly ran his hands through the locks, trying to detangle the white strands and make it look less like an explosion of white and more of his usual wavy curls instead. He shot a glare at Hinata for mocking him, only to receive a louder laugh of the other, he shot his arms up in defense, as if to justify the laughing. The teacher wasn’t amused with the disruption and asked the brunet to ‘please be quiet’. Komaeda couldn’t help throwing a cocky smile at him when he saw him sink into his chair, mumbling a low apology. Good-for-nothing reserve course student, he thought, I’d get you back for that.

“As I was saying, P.E. classes will be resumed weekly, starting next Thursday, so I ask everyone to bring their given uniforms for the gymnasium. Saionji, you can come to me after class to give me your new size so I can get you a uniform since you told me you won’t fit in your old one anymore.” That was right, just after the incident with the gymnasium she got a growth spurt, Komaeda remembered not recognizing her when he got back from his suspension. “Any other questions?”

The class fell into a silence, and Yukizome started pulling out some books about literature instead, getting ready to start her lesson as she scribbled on some words on the board, Komaeda followed her example, letting some heavy books fall on the wood of his table, scrolling through the pages to where they left off last time.

-

“So, what did Kirigiri-san say about the report?” Hinata was leaning on his chair, this close to tripping over and falling backward. Komaeda was about to scold him for showing such actions in the main course class but was silently hoping his luck would make him fall so he’d get a good laugh out of it.

He leaned his head against his palm as he faced the brunet. “He said it was all good this time around.” Remembering how relieved the headmaster sounded when he noticed him finally participating in the program. “That’s great! See, Komaeda-kun, I can be useful.” Hinata was beaming, looking way too happy for the indirect compliment he received. “ _barely_.” Komaeda snickered when he shoved his foot into the chair that was wobbling on the floor, effective making it tumble down against the floor, the brunet shortly following.

“Ouch! What was that for?” Komaeda just laughed at the sight of a confused and disheveled Hinata, shrugging his shoulders as an answer to the boy’s question. He did say he’d make him pay for laughing earlier, so he called it a tie. Hearing the commotion, Sonia rushed over towards the brunet, offering him a hand. “Oh, dear. Are you feeling alright?”

Hinata waved off her outstretched hand, getting up by himself as he dusted off the brown uniform. “I’m fine, just tripped” The blond girl just looked at him in confusion, but didn’t want to be rude and question the blatant lie. “Ah… okay. Would you perhaps like to join us in a nice picnic outside?” She clasped her hands together happily, as polite and cheerful as always. “That would be lovely, but I need to work on this paper for the Cultivation plan with Komaeda.”

White eyebrows shot up, looking at the brunet questionable. They already finished the paper, and it would be useless for them to start working on the next one already. He was about to voice his concern when a pleading look from Hinata stopped him. “Oh, that’s okay. I wish you to the best of luck!” Sonia twirled around gracefully, walking towards the doorway where Tanaka was waiting for her, a small wave before she walked out left the two of them empty in the classroom.

“You know, Hinata-kun, it’s very disrespectful to lie.” Komaeda mocked him, twirling a strand of white over a slender finger as he relaxed against his chair. “I know, I know. I just feel like I’m being smothered by everyone.” Hi picked up the chair that was fallen over, sitting on it properly this time as he breathed a heavy sigh. “Don’t get me wrong, they’re great, but I miss my lone place on the bench near the fountain sometimes.”

The fountain? He remembered their class representative going there a lot last year. Did they meet each other there? That would explain their closeness. “Isn’t that where Nanami would usually go during break times?” Hinata just smiled, nodding his head in agreement. “Yeah, we used to play games there together. But she’s a lot quieter than the other classmates here. One more pat on the back from Nidai and I’ll break my spine.” To emphasize his words, he rubbed his back in pain.

“You could become SHSL paralyzed.” Komaeda snickered at his own words, only laughing harder when Hinata threw him a troubled look. “That seems like a useless talent…” The brunet looked up in thought as if actually considering actually getting that kind of talent. How _pitifully_ desperate. “Still better than being talentless.” The white haired male threw up his arms in a shrug as if to rub salt into the wound.

Hinata just agreed, looking over the other in question. “So… what is your talent anyway?” That’s right, they didn’t really have a proper introduction yet. “Take a guess, Hinata-kun.” His face straightened into a serious face, pondering in his head frustratingly. Komaeda could see the gears turning in the other’s head as he tried to think about a talent that would fit the white haired male. Green eyes stared off into the distance, before settling on the other’s white strands. “Ultimate fluffy hair?”

Komaeda leaned over in laughter, wheezing at the ridiculous answer. “If I would be that, you’d be ultimate pointy hair!” He pointed at the brown strands accusingly, a breathy giggle escaping his lips. “Nice try for a _reserve_ course student.” Hinata just looked at him in defeat, a whisper of ‘just tell me already’ leaving him.

“Since you insist, I’m the ultimate lucky student.” The words sounded heavy in the air, the confusing on the brunet’s face growing by the second, the question of ‘what does that mean’ written clearly on his face, but he was too anxious to ask. “They allowed an ordinary student into the school through a lottery, that ordinary student was me.” Hinata stayed silence for a minute, taking in the words slowly before speaking up again.

“So, basically you and I… are the same?” He placed a finger against his chin, thinking about his own words deeply. “Kind of?” Komaeda sighed, not enjoying the conversation at all, tugging against his blazer mindlessly as if he was bored. “Then why do you dislike me so much?” His head snapped up, gray eyes scanning the boy in front of him. A breathy sigh leaving his lips before it twisted into a sickening smile. 

“Because ordinary people do not deserve the care of the word. All we’re useful for is being a steppingstone for the talented. A steppingstone for _hope_.” He embraced himself tightly, shuddering at the words leaving him. A ramble about hope and trash left his lips at lightning speed, not even bothering to catch his breath in-between words as his face turned purple from the lack of oxygen. The words didn’t register in his own head, as if his body was on autopilot, losing entire control of himself as he hugged his arms tightly.

“Komaeda… you’re scaring me.” Hinata held his hand up midair as if confused whether to comfort the maniacal boy in front of him or brace himself for a punch. He was shaking slightly on his chair, eyes wide in confusion and horror. Gray eyes swirled darkly as he looked at the brunet, leaving forward, inching closer towards the other. Hinata flinched, backing away slightly, a drop of sweat falling from him temple as Komaeda’s breath was ghosting against his skin, whispering in his ear. “Nobody would care if we die tomorrow, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata shoved him away, practically running out of the classroom without looking back, his knees buckling slightly in fear. Komaeda just blinked slowly at the situation, confused as to what happened. Why did he run away? Did he do something wrong?

“Ah… I did it again, didn’t I?” He leaned his head against his palm, feeling the irregular pounding against his skull. It hurt. It hurt that he lost control of his own mind again, that he scared away the only person left that was willing to talk to him, reverse course student or not. Feeling his fingers tremble against his skin, he closed his eyes, trying to regain his senses. Getting up from the chair rather harshly, he grabbed his bag and moved towards the exit, not bothering to stay in the class today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /Well, that escalated quickly./
> 
> I'm not very knowledgeable on the subject of frontotemporal dementia, so I sincerely apologize if I wrote it wrong.


	5. Why do you care?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I didn’t come here to make friends, Hinata.” His voice sounded bitter, almost spitting out the other’s name, not even caring about being formal anymore. He stood up, facing the other head on, glad at the small height difference between them.

Hinata avoided him almost the entire week, huddling around with the other classmates as if scared to be left alone with the white haired male again. Komaeda didn’t want to complain, happy that the boy wasn’t trying to invade his personal space anymore, but a little emptiness ran through his veins as he didn’t invite him to join them on their picnic, him being left alone in the classroom once again.

At least he had time to fill in the second report. He got a sheet of paper, tapping his pencil against it as he stared at the questions. ‘Attended activities’ He looked at the letters in a daze, no idea what he could fill in there, skipping to the next one. “studied subjects’ Most of these questions had to be filled in by Hinata, or by him if he actually would’ve paid attention to the other boy like he was supposed to. Quickly filling in whatever he could he left the half-done paper on his neighbor’s desk, silently asking the other to fill in the rest.

He did what he always would do on his break times, read. Rummaging through his bag, he retrieved a particularly thick book, letting it fall on his table with a loud thud. He was nearly done, having read almost all the pages with the tiny black letters. To him, ending a book was always so bittersweet. He liked getting closure, getting a conclusion about the characters he’d read about for hours was extremely satisfying. But it was also sad as if he’d lost a friend, not being able to interact with it anymore. He would always read the last pages a little slower than usual as if the stretch out the moment as long as he could.

Getting so immersed in his book, he didn’t realize his classmates slowly filling the class again, getting ready for the last hours of class before they could go home and enjoy the weekend. They were asked to study on their own since their teacher had to join some meeting, and that resulted in half the class skipping coming altogether. The ringing of the bell brought him back into reality, reading the last sentence before opening his science book instead and studying some of the problems he had a hard time with. The classroom wasn’t as quiet as usual, and instead of studying, the students were happily chatting with each other, making plans for the weekend and talking about other irrelevant things. A piece of paper being shoved in front of his face made him look up from the book he was reading. Hinata stood with his arm outstretch, avoiding eye contact while he let the paper hang in the air. He looked, almost as if he was _concerned_ , Komaeda noted as he took the paper, scanning over it to make sure the other filled in everything.

There was an awkward silence between the two, Hinata not moving a muscle as if he wanted to say something. “Is there something I can help you with?” His voice was dark, as _if_ Komaeda would help the brunet, but curiosity at why he didn’t move away, already have him sitting straight on his chair. “Just… look.” Hinata was struggling with his words for a second, before taking in a heavy breath. “Don’t try to push me away or anything, we’re stuck with each other and you just have to deal with it.” Green eyes stared strictly at him, shining slightly in the light of the sun that cast into the classroom. “Just because you scared me the other day, doesn’t mean I’ll give up.” He was surprised at the sudden scolding of the brunet but he didn’t let him see that. “Fine.”

He averted his gaze, it was hard to look at the intensity of the boy in front of him, his piercing eyes started to get under his skin a little. Komaeda tried to shoo away the other, ignoring the body practically leaning over him now. “Everyone here is weirded out by you, you know. Doesn’t that effect you at all?” The words were harsh, like a slap in the face, but he was used to it. Years of self-depreciation prepared him for the biggest verbal attacks. He didn’t deserve kind words anyway.

“I didn’t come here to make friends, _Hinata_.” His voice sounded bitter, almost spitting out the other’s name, not even caring about being formal anymore. He stood up, facing the other head on, glad at the small height difference between them. If it was an ultimate that said those words, he’d embrace them and agree fully, but this wasn’t the case. I guess maybe he wasn’t even worthy of an ultimate batting an eye at him, let alone insult him.

“Well, maybe you should...” He realized they were making a commotion, shy glances being thrown towards them, the room now eerily quiet. He leaned closer towards the brunet so the others wouldn’t hear his next words. “I’m doing you all a favor.” A smile danced on his lips, as if to make the words sound playful, but deep inside he knew he was speaking the truth. He leaned back, a self-fulfilled expression on his face as he watched the confusion in Hinata’s eyes.

The brunet sighed in defeat, giving up the verbal fight. “You don’t make any sense at all, Komaeda-kun.” Komaeda just smiled at him sweetly, not daring to show the other boy his true emotions. “I guess we’re not really equals, then.” He glanced around, his classmates stopped caring now that the heavy aura around them died down a little. They didn’t, and shouldn’t care about them anyway.

Hinata laughed uncertain at that. “I never said we were, you’re really something else.” The words seemed mocking, but his tone was gleeful, no trace of harm in the other’s chuckles. “I tried being nice, I tried being harsh. So… what do you want from me instead?”

‘I want you to disappear’ laced on his lips, but he couldn’t get himself to say those words out loud, not sure whether it was the small part of empathy left in his brain, or just because it didn’t feel right to him. “I want you to understand me.” _So I wouldn’t have to explain myself to you anymore_. The rest of the words were caught in his throat, refusing to go past his vocal chords.

“Then I have to get to know you first.” Hinata smiled at him. Why was he always smiling? It made his skin feel uncomfortable hot, unease creeping at his neck at the sincere look in the brunet. “I guess that sounds reasonable.”

“It’s a deal, then. Why don’t we start over?” He outstretched his arm nudging him on to take it. Komaeda placed his slender hand over Hinata’s uncertainly, feeling the other’s warm palm tighten over his. The brunet stood straight, confidence pouring with a gentle expression on his face. “I’m Hinata Hajime, nice to meet you.”

Komaeda sighed, playing alone in the childish game, just mumbling his name in an attempt to return the favor. After the handshake, he let his arm fall limply next to his body, not really knowing what to do in a situation like this, he let his finger run over the cold table, avoiding eye contact as his hand ran over the pattern of the wood. Hinata leaned against the top if his table as well, looking at his hand nonchalantly, not making a move to get away.

“Let’s be friends from now on, okay?” His voice sounds more like an announcement than a question. The brunet pointed at the paper in front of them, “They did say they require a stable contact between the participants, after all.” Komaeda tsked, is that all he can think about? He was about to voice his annoyance when the brunet opened his mouth again. “Besides, with your ultimate talent, it has to work out, right?” He looked at Hinata in confusion, not knowing where the boy was going at this, he barely knew anything about his talent, to begin with.

“To be honest, I thought you lied to me about your talent last time, so I asked the others about it.” He held his hands up in an apology, a sheepish smile on his face as he tried to justify the words. “I heard even the headmaster is impressed by it!” Komaeda rolled his eyes at the attempt of a compliment. “It’s not a talent, really.” _More like a curse_ , he finished the sentence in his head bitterly, not wanting the other to give him more questions than necessary.

Hinata looked in confusion “You don’t seem too happy about it…” He just waved a slender hand at him, letting him know it’s not important. The other got the hint, thinking of another subject to talk about when he picked up the book he was reading earlier. “You like reading?” The question was forced, the air around them extremely awkward, but the brunet was that set on getting to know him. “Yeah, I like it. It’s a fun way to pass the time.”

Hinata flipped the book in his hand, reading what was printed on the back intently. “It sounds interesting.” Komaeda perked up at this, nobody had ever find reading interesting, and the people who did like it weren’t too interested in the genre’s he read. “I just finished it, actually...” He nudged towards the book, the other looking at him with a smile. “So if you want to you can take it.”

“Thanks, I’ll give it back once I finished reading it!” He gripped the book as if he just received a present, silence falling over them again. It’s been awhile since he had a steady conversation with someone, and it seemed a lot harder than before. He began reading in his science book again, making mental notes inside of his head before the other disturbed him once again. “Having trouble with something?” Komaeda looked up confused, only to realize he was probably making a pained face when looking over the complicated words. “I could help you if you want?” He didn’t wait for an answer as he moved from the table, so he could read the book properly and swiftly started to explain the subject.

They spent the rest of the school hours glued to the science book, Hinata answering nearly all his questions without batting an eye. He was _smart_ , trying his best to explain it so the other would understand. He didn’t think of himself being dumb, usually knowing the answers fairly easy of letting his luck decide and fill in something random, but it almost looked like the brunet had rehearsed the entire book, not once mumbling or stuttering. Pausing at nearly every sentence to look at Komaeda, to see if he got what he was trying to say, only continuing when he nodded.

The bell rang, and everyone got up, practically running out of the classroom. He didn’t feel like rushing as he slowly closed the book, mumbling a quiet ‘thank you’ at the brunet, who was gathering his own stuff by now as well. “I’m glad I could help.” He patted him on the back in a friendly matter, Komaeda flinching at the sudden contact, bracing him for a slap in the face when he received a playful nudge. Hinata just looked confused, retreating his hand quickly but smiling nonetheless, finishing his sentence. “That’s what friends are for.”

Komaeda took in the words. He was so dead-set on referring him as a friend, and even treating him like one. He was confused as to why he would still hang out with him, especially since everyone, even the patient Nanami, had given up on him. They walked out the room, leaving it entirely empty now. Hinata was talking to him about stuff what he was going to do in the weekend, rushing to keep up with Komaeda’s long strides, the book he had giving him earlier snugly in-between his crossed arms. He didn’t really pay it too much mind, to focus inside his head to try and crack this puzzle as the brunet kept babbling happily as they approached the exit.

_Why do you keep trying so hard?_

_You’re nothing, a nobody._

_So, why do you care?_

_…Why do I care?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /They're both so stubborn, geez/


	6. It'll be fun!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata plopped down into the single bed, grabbing the remote that was laying on the nightstand and turning on the small, rundown television. Komaeda stood awkwardly in the room, not sure what he was supposed to do in a situation like this. Shifting on his legs as he scanned the room, looking at the walls in fascination as to not seem uncomfortable to the other.

**Reserve course student:**

Nanami borrowed me this new game for the weekend.

Would you like to join me?

It's not as fun on my own, and my roommates are having the worse hangover in their lives.

 

**You:**

Why don't you play with Nanami-chan?

 

**Reserve course student:**

She's at her parent's house this weekend.

 

**You:**

Oh

 

**Reserve course student:**

So, would you like to come here...?

I promise it'll be fun!

 

**You:**

I guess I don't really have anything else to do

 

**Reserve course student:**

Great! I'll send you the address in a second.

 

He stared at the screen in his hands, reading back the conversation with a sigh. Why did he agree on this again? It was true that he didn’t have anything else to do, but he kind of looked forward to spending his day with a book, a horrible movie and maybe a bath, not anticipating any social contact, _especially_ with a reserve course student. But here he stood, outside the dorm that he was instructed to go half an hour ago, hand mid-air to knock on the heavy wood.

Hinata opened the door with a smile on his face, waving the other to get inside. He wasn’t wearing his usual school uniform, but instead, a casual buttoned up white shirt with short sleeves paired with a pair of dark, tight jeans. It was the first time he saw him without a long sleeved blazer, and he felt a pang of jealousy when he noted the faint line of muscles move underneath the flesh on his arms when he moved.

Komaeda moved in hesitantly, following the brunet while taking in the sight of the room around him. The dorm was small, a brown leather couch sitting in the middle of the living room, nearly taking up all the space. A small television sat on an oak dresser. four doors were connected to the living room, three bedrooms, and one bathroom, probably. A wooden arch separating the small kitchen from the main room. The place looked sophisticated, the furniture probably provided by the academy. The people in it, not as classy. A guy with blond hair was passed out on the couch, a glass bottle which presumably was beer, dangling from his hand dangerously.

“We live here with the three males that got into the hope cultivation plan, the two girls in the project have their own dorm, I believe,” Hinata said lowly, as to not wake up the sleeping student, explain a question that wasn’t asked just to keep the conversation going. “Would you like something to drink?”

Komaeda glanced inside the kitchen, empty bottles and plates lining the counters, plastic cups stacked haphazardly and littering the floor. “I think I’ll pass…” The brunet laughed apologetically as he walked towards the far left door, offering the white haired male to step inside.

The cleanness of the small bedroom was a relieve for Komaeda, relishing in the fresh air that came out of the open window. It’s not like he was a germaphobe, but he just detested the incapability of proper sanitation. Cleanliness is next to godliness, after all.

Hinata plopped down into the single bed, grabbing the remote that was laying on the nightstand and turning on the small, rundown television. The screen started to flash colorful images, the volume was already on low, probably as to not disturb his roommates. How _considerate_. Komaeda stood awkwardly in the room, not sure what he was supposed to do in a situation like this. Shifting on his legs as he scanned the room, looking at the walls in fascination as to not seem uncomfortable to the other.

“You can sit down if you want, you know.” His voice was gentle as he patted a hand on the bed, a controller in his other hand. Komaeda obliged and sat down on the edge, feeling a little tense as he kept looking around, not daring to look the other boy in the eye. He wasn’t going to show him how unfamiliar the situation for him was, not wanting to be judged for not being a social butterfly.

A pink controller was thrown into his lap, and he couldn’t help but snicker at the choice of color, throwing a cocked eyebrow at the brunet. Hinata laughed “I only have one controller, Nanami borrowed me this as well.” He just turned the plastic in his hands, humming a teasing ‘if you say so’. “Tell you what, the loser has to play with the pink controller.” They were on the main menu now, about to pick their characters for what he assumed being a racing game. He remembered the screen from when the class had played it together in break time, and how the ultimate gamer beat everyone in a blink of an eye with the pink character. “Tell you what, the loser has to play with the pink controller, and choose the pink princess character as well.”

Hinata put on his game face, hunching forward in concentration when he accepted the challenge as he picked the green, tall man with a weird mustache while Komaeda picked the skeleton. The game started soon after picking a random map, the brunet pushing the buttons vigorously while the other leaned back relaxed, figuring out what to do exactly. He was last for nearly the entire game, until the last minute when he kept getting the bullet power-ups, effectively knocking Hinata off from the first place.

The brunet next to him looked speechless at the screen. “W-What just happened?” His mouth hung open a little, staring at the mocking text of ‘second place’ on the screen. “I believe I just won, _Hinata-kun_.” Cockiness dripped from his voice, he couldn’t help but feel a little proud at beating the other who was once so confident in his game. “But, you got the bullet power up 5 times in a row!?” He pointed at the screen in accusation, looking confused at the white haired male next to him, who just shrugged casually. “Is that a bad thing?” Hinata just stared at him, switching the controllers in defeat as he sighed. “You rigged the game.”

Komaeda just laughed triumphantly, smiling when the other was forced to pick the overly cutesy pink character. They got into the second round, the third, fourth, all of them him ending up the winner at the last second, getting the best types of power-ups, and even glitching into the front of the map that one time. Hinata gave up with a laugh at the sixth round, running a hand through his hair in disbelieve. “You really are lucky, after all.” He breathed, sounding amused at his conclusion.

“Winning so much is boring, you have something else to do?” It was more a tease, but he couldn’t help but feel amused when he saw the brunet look around desperately for something else to do. He laughed an ‘I’m joking’ effectively calming down the skittish boy next to him. “I never know with you when you’re serious or not.”

He grabbed another game, some fighting game, and they got ready to smash buttons again. Since this game didn’t have any power ups, Komaeda’s luck didn’t help him as much as before, finally losing the first game this day. The excited screech next to him made him laugh a little, Hinata had his hands up in the air, celebrating his victory with joy. They didn’t feel like switching the controller, this time, immediately getting ready for the second round. The brunet was good at this game, nearly winning all rounds, a loud victory following every win. Komaeda won twice out of the eight rounds, once because the other boy's controller froze, and the other time when Hinata didn’t move as much, presumably out of pity. He scolded the other not to do that, but he just laughed apologetically, saying that he didn’t do anything.

A loud grumble moved his attention from the screen towards the boy next to him, looking at him in confusion when he saw a small blush form on Hinata’s face. “Sorry, I’m a little hungry.” He scratched his head in embarrassment, setting the controller down in order to grab his phone. “You want some food too?” Komaeda was about to voice a ‘yes’, it was dinner time, after all, he noticed as he read 18:26 on the clock, but then he remembered the state of the kitchen, and he snapped his lips shut.

The brunet noticed this, laughing softly as he nodded in agreement. “Don’t worry, I plan on ordering a pizza. I don’t trust my roommates enough to eat whatever is in the fridge.” Instead of relief, Komaeda’s face turned into disgust. “Order a pizza, how _barbaric_.” He snorted at the pained face Hinata made, straightening his shoulders in defense. “Oh, come on! It’s not that bad!”

-

The pizza guy didn’t take too long to deliver their food, and soon after ordering they sat on the floor in Hinata’s room, munching on the cheesy goodness. They put the television on so they could watch something while eating, some equally cheesy standup show playing in the background. The brunet was as carefree as ever, laughing at the dumbest jokes while Komaeda just looked at the screen in confusion. That wasn’t even _funny_ , but the genuine happiness in the other boy’s voice made him laugh nonetheless.

They spend nearly an hour looking at the bad skits, Komaeda chuckling politely every now and then while Hinata was hunched over, trying to catch his breath in between hysterical laughter. To him, watching the brunet next to him wheeze was more amusing that what happened on the screen, offering him a can of coke they had ordered with the pizza as he noticed that the other’s voice became hoarse. “Haah, thanks!” He took the beverage and drank it down eagerly as if he didn’t have a drink in years.

Komaeda felt himself subconsciously stare at the other’s Adam's apple, watching it with a newfound interest as it moved with each gulp. He had already admitted in his mind that he was quite the good-looking male, but with the closer proximity he couldn’t help but scratch the previous thought and call him downright handsome now. Shifting his gaze over the other’s broad shoulder, settling on the muscles on his arms the second time that day. “Do you work out?” The question left his lips without thinking it through, looking in amusement when Hinata practically spit out his drink at the sudden question, looking at him in confusion for a few seconds.

“Well, yeah… I kind of do?” The answer sounded more like a question. “Why?” He finished his sentence, placing the can containing the sugary liquid down again. “Just wondering.” He shrugged. “I used to enjoy swimming a lot, but with my current health-” Komaeda trailed off his sentence, quickly casting his gaze back towards the television, hoping the other didn’t notice his slip-up. Silence fell over them, Hinata just breathing a low ‘ _oh_ ’, polite enough not to question him anymore on the subject, noticing how uncomfortable the other had become. “Well… if it’s possible. Maybe we could go and swim together sometimes, just for fun?” Komaeda just smiled at the nice gesture, nodding in agreement.

They chatted a bit about free time activities, Hinata happily chatting along while the other just nodded in silence. Talk about hobbies became talks about foods, games, and school, exchanging their preferences, having small debates on why their favorite snack was the best. Komaeda smiled a little brighter with each topic, nodding turning into full-blown sentences as the room filled with wild chatter and laughter. The light of the setting sun outside of the window slowly subdue into the darkness of the light as hours passed by.

“Well, I should probably get going now,” He stretched his arms upwards, yawning while doing so. “Thanks… for the food.” He got up, the brunet following his with a nod, walking towards the front door together. “It’s on you the next time!” Hinata chuckled as he opened the door, waving a small goodbye towards Komaeda before closing the door again, leaving the white haired male outside in the cold. _Next time_? Did that mean the other wanted to hang out with him again? He sauntered towards his dorm, hands dug deep into the pockets of his green jacket as to protect them from the chilly wind. He had _fun_ today, he thought with a small smile as he stared at the ground. A buzzing in his pocket bringing him back from his thoughts, grabbing the cellular device in his hand, squinting at the brightness.

 

**Reserve course student:**

Thanks for coming today, I wouldn't have been able to survive the wrath of my hungover roommates when I would be alone!

 

Pushing some buttons on the screen, he was met with a small pop-up screen. ‘Are you sure you want to save the new settings?’ Pressing the yes button, he stared at the updated profile, the usual mocking name now read ‘ _Hinata_ ’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /I imagine Hinata loving bad jokes./


	7. Stamina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay, we’re going to start with a stamina and strength test. Please team up with someone so you can take turns writing down the results for each other. When you went through all the equipment’s, you hand off the paper to me. No cheating.” Looking around, he already saw the usual pairs teamed up with each other.

“Welcome to the new gymnasium, I’ll be your P.E. teacher for this year. I expect everyone to behave properly, or you’ll face detention.” A death stare was thrown at Komaeda, making him flinch under the gaze of the middle-aged woman. “Now, everyone please enter the appropriate dressing room and change into your gym outfits. If you don’t have it with you, you’re not allowed to enter the building and you have to catch up on the missed hours later on.”

After a couple of nods from the students, they turned towards the opening of the building, the teacher stopping Komaeda by standing in front of him. “I’m keeping an eye on you, buddy. One wrong move and I _will_ get you expelled for good.” Her stare was threatening, making a shiver run down his spine as he forced a smile on his face, feigning ignorance as he walked past the woman.

Hinata had slowed down his pace, looking curiously at him. “What was that about?” They walked into the changing room, waving a slender hand as if to telling the other not to worry about it. Throwing the duffle bag into the wooden bench, sitting down on it with a sigh. So she knew he was the reason the old gymnasium was blown up but didn’t they say they would keep it confiscated? She probably wasn’t kidding about the entire expulsion thing, either, his little _prank_ , even though it had a good cause, made her lose her job for the rest of the school year.

He changed lazily, not looking forward to the class. Strength wasn’t really one of his best abilities, but then again, nothing really was. Nidai was already fully dressed now, cheering his classmates on loudly, Komaeda didn’t care as much as he threw the plain white shirt over his shoulders, letting the words of encouragement going over his head. Being one of the last to finish changing, he made sure his school uniform was folded neatly on the bench before entering the gym.

“Okay, we’re going to start with a stamina and strength test. Please team up with someone so you can take turns writing down the results for each other. When you went through all the equipment’s, you hand off the paper to me. No cheating.” Looking around, he already saw the usual pairs teamed up with each other, feeling a little left behind when he saw Hinata teamed up with Nanami. He was left with a very unhappy Soda, who was mumbling under his breath in defeat, probably since his darling Sonja was happily chatting with Tanaka.

They picked up the sheets of paper and a stopwatch that was assigned to each group. The rules were fairly easy, you take turns on each equipment and try to do as much as you can in sixty seconds, the other will count as to prevent cheating. They did push-ups first, Soda being the first as Komaeda counted for him loudly, staring off into the distance instead of looking at the pink haired male on the ground. A full minute sure feels a lot longer when all you’re allowed to do is count the dips of the other male, a beeping sound in his hand signaling that the time was over and that they had to switch places.

He did his best at keeping up a proper pace with the push-ups, but his weak arm soon began to tremble under the weight, making it harder for him to bend his elbows. He wasn’t as good as his teammate, heck, he probably scored the worse in the entire class. Sighing in defeat when the timer went off once again, writing down a disappointing number on his sheet. Up to the next one.

They did a jump test, a hand strength test and a flexibility test, Komaeda only scoring good in the last one, getting a pat on the back from Soda for finally beating one of his scores. He just smiled at the praise, complimenting the other on his physical strength as well. They walked towards the next thing on their list, pull-ups. The machine was still occupied by Hinata and Nanami, but the girl assured them they were almost done, showing them the timer while counting for the brunet.

Komaeda sat down, hating to admit he was already feeling tired, his stamina not being what it used to be. With nothing else to do, he looked at the brunet on the pull-up bar, effortlessly raising his chest over the bar, only to lower his body down again, letting his arms stretch completely before returning the cycle. With each pull-up, the muscles in his bicep would tremble a little, and each time he lowered himself down, his shirt would rise, letting the skin of his stomach peek down under the shirt. He looked in awe at the other’s display of strength, letting his eye wander over every twitching muscle.

The beep of the stopwatch made Hinata jump off from the bar, stretching his neck as he walked towards his partner to write down the number, smiling gently at Komaeda as he walked past, throwing a motivating thumbs up. He got up slowly, not looking forward to do the exercise. His arms already felt like jelly from the push-ups, and the worse was that Nanami and Hinata decided to take a break there, practically standing next to Soda as they chatted happily. That’s just what he needed, more eyes on him as he overexerted his weak body. How _pathetic_.

Reaching the horizontal bar above his head with a little jump, tightening his hand over the cold metal and letting his body hang limply, waiting for the cue of his partner. “Okay, ready…” Soda gripped the stopwatch in his hand, pressing the button as he practically screamed a ‘ _go_ ’. He felt the muscles in his arms tighten as he used all his strength to pull up his body, lifting his chin over the bar once, before letting himself dip down again. It wasn’t nearly as graceful a when Hinata did it, and probably a third of the speed as well. When he was at the count of three, the metal bar in his hands started to shake, before rolling off the equipment, making Komaeda tumble down as the bar flew into the case that held all the balls, making it fall with a loud thud as balls littered the entire flood.

The sound of glass shattering filling his ears as he looked up in surprise. The metal stick had made its way into one of the big glass windows, shattering it on impact. One of the legs that held the machine upright fell over with the force of a basketball crashing against it, falling down almost in slow-motion. Komaeda held up his arms in a way of defense as the wooden leg fell on top of him, into his raised left wrist, to be precise. After the impact, it rolled down on the floor with a low ‘thud’, the sounds echoing loudly in the death silence.

He had to blink a few times to notice he was on the ground, everything just happened so fast, it barely registered in his brain. Looking around, the other’s had the same problem, gaping at the mess in the room. A burning pain in his wrist made him look down at his hand, the flesh getting redder the longer he looked at it, feeling his heartbeat on the swollen wrist as he gently grabbed it with his other hand. He didn’t have time to pay the pain any mind, as angry footsteps made its way over to him, their teacher practically screaming a ‘what happened’.

He prepared himself for a scolding, and maybe even a slap from her when he noticed a shadow cast over him. But instead of that, he heard a stuttering Hinata close by, frantically calming down the woman. “I-I’m sorry ma’am, I accidently tripped over-” He looked around hastily, trying to make up the excuse on the spot while pointing at one of the benched in the middle of the room. “… _That_ ” The teacher’s eyes were twitching now, yelling at him to clean up the mess immediately, Hinata obliging with a shudder, running across the room.

“U-Uhm, are you… are you okay?” The voice was soft and hesitant, her hands clasped together tightly as she looked down worried. “Don’t worry about trash like myself, Tsumiki-chan!” A warm smile washed over his face at her concern, she was stuttering now, bending down to gently take his hand. She squeezed into his wrist, making Komaeda hiss in discomfort.

She yelped an apology, tears dancing in her eyes as she held his hand gently. “L-Let me get some bandages, don’t move!” The command was voiced in uncertainty, rushing up to run towards the dressing room while tripping over her own two feet with a high pitched ‘ _uwaaaa_ ’. Soda rushed towards her side, helping her get up, walking towards the room now together, before an annoyed Koizumi stopped him, scolding him for trying to get into the girls dressing room.

He didn’t pay too much attention to the other’s, glancing at the brunet who was vigorously picking up the balls scattered around the floor. He was confused, to say the least. _What_ had happened again?

-

Sitting at his desk with a now wet bandaged hand, he looked outside lazily. Tsumiki did an excellent job at reducing the pain in his left hand, but it was hard to keep the cloth dry while showering after the gym was dismissed. Because they arrived at the classroom nearly half an hour early, Yukizome still hadn’t arrived yet for their next lecture. He sighed as he stared at his limp hand, feeling bad that he had left Hinata alone in the gymnasium to clean up the mess he made. He had to be done soon, right? Tapping his right hand against his desk as he looked at the clock impatiently. He still had some time, maybe he should check on him and help if possible? The gym was a five-minute walk away, he would be able to see if everything was okay and be back in the classroom on time.

The walk towards the building just outside the campus was brief, the wind tousling his hair, tickling against his skin. He stopped caring about his unruly hair a long time ago, not having the gut to cut it off, and elastic bands would break each time he tried to contain the cloud of white. His feet tapping against the gravel as he neared the outhouse, entering the door with a male stick figure on it, stepping inside swiftly.

Hinata stood in the dressing room, clad in only his boxers. His brown hair looking darker than usual with the wetness clinging against his strands, water droplets falling down into his chest every now and then as he lazily dried off one side of his head with the towel. Komaeda faltered, feeling a lump grow in his throat. He shouldn’t have intruded. Green eyes lit up at the sight of the pale male standing at the doorway, waving at his as if he wasn’t standing there half-naked. “Hey!” His face contorted into concerns when his gaze settled over the white bandage on his hand, Komaeda trying to hide it under his sleeve a little too late. “Are you okay? Did you hurt yourself?”

“I’m fine, just sprained my wrist a little…” He trailed off when the brunet moved closer, taking the bandaged appendage into his hands as if to inspect if the other was truthful. He hummed as he pressed his finger a little too hard into the swollen flesh, making the white haired male groan a little. “Ah, sorry… You got to be more careful next time.” He let go of his hand, looking the other in the eye with a stern expression. “You could’ve hurt yourself a lot more. You got lucky this time.” Komaeda just chuckled at this. His luck is what caused him to fall in the first place. The _irony_.

Hinata didn’t look as amused, about to scold the other for not taking him serious when Komaeda cut him off. “Why did you take the blame anyway, you didn’t do anything?” The brunet’s expression softened at this, throwing him a warm smile as he explained himself. “Did you see the way she looked at you? If you admitted you did it, she'd probably dismiss you for P.E. the entire year… or worse.” His voice significantly lowered at the end of the sentence, furrowing his brows as if in thought. “Why is she so mad at you anyway?”

“Oh, you know…” _For blowing up the previous gymnasium_. He couldn’t help but laugh a little at the absurdly of it all, thinking back at how the accident happened last year. He rather keep it a secret from Hinata, afraid he would scare the other away again. He relaxed against the wall, looking amusingly at the other’s thoughtful expression, wondering what the other had in mind. Letting his eyes shift over a droplet of water rolling over his jaw, followed it as it fell down on the other’s shoulder, dripping over the brunet’s well-defined chest. Not realizing that he was _staring_ , he snapping his head up to look the other in the face again, happy that Hinata looked as oblivious as ever. “You really should get dressed now, class will start any moment.”

Green eyes widened in realization. “Oh, of course!” He rushed back towards the bench, throwing on his shirt quickly. Komaeda leaned against the wall, watching the other get dressed patiently. A faint blush forming on his face as he saw the skin of the other’s boy being covered by clothes. _Good_ , he thought, he was feeling a little too uncomfortable with the bare flesh of the other, even though he was perfectly fine with taking a shower with all the other classmates. Must’ve been because Hinata was new, he concluded as the other finished dressing, getting up with a little jump in his step.

“Thank you for waiting.” He smiled as he threw the duffle bag over his shoulder, signaling that he was ready to leave now. They strolled back towards the main school building, joking about the wrath of their gym teacher as Hinata did his best to impersonate her. Komaeda just laughed as he got scolded by the raspy voice Hinata was making, resembling their teacher’s eerily, shoving the other by the shoulder jokingly. He wanted to thank the other for taking the blame, but he wasn’t sure how to do that. So instead, he tried his best to give him his best, genuine smile, only to get one back in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /Komaeda's luck had to come crashing down eventually./
> 
> I skipped past this week a little to quicken the pace, if I'm going too quick, please let me know!


	8. Ready to lose?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His room seemed lighter than before, the sun shining inside it brightly almost making the corners looking blurry. He didn’t pay it too much mind as he sat on the bed, the sheets ruffling under his weight. “Are you ready to lose, Hinata-kun?”

Hinata had asked him to come to his dorm to play games once again, and Komaeda had happily complied, stepping into the now clean living room of the other. There weren’t any students sleeping on the couch anymore, and the kitchen wasn’t littered with bottles and cups, he couldn’t help but relax visibly at the sight. Following the brunet into his bedroom as the other explained that his roommates were out of the dorm for some kind of party. He seemed way too happy for them not being there, he thought as he stepped through the wooden door.

His room seemed lighter than before, the sun shining inside it brightly, almost making the corners looking blurry. He didn’t pay it too much mind as he sat on the bed, the sheets ruffling under his weight. He felt a lot more comfortable with the presence of the other compared to last week, grabbing the controller that laid on the bed confidently. “Are you ready to lose, Hinata-kun?”

Hinata let out a breathy laugh as he started up the console, vivid colors filling the already bright room. “As if! I’m getting my revenge.” He grabbed the second controller, the pink one, and jumped down on the bed with glee, making Komaeda bounce with it. “Vengeance shall be mine!” The brunet laughed loudly, almost mirroring the behavior of his classmate, Tanaka. He couldn’t help but chuckle at the other’s determination, getting ready to crush his confidence and see him weep in defeat.

They played the same racing game as last time, Hinata winning nearly all round this time. He must’ve practiced it a lot, much to the white haired boy’s surprise. With a newfound confident, he passed Komaeda cockily, nudging him with his elbow each time with a sly smirk. This made the white haired boy push down the buttons harder, trying his best to beat the other.

A cheer was heard next to him when they reached the finish, Hinata taking first place for the fourth time in a row now. He threw his hands up happily, smiling brightly as he basked in his victory. It was cute how excited he would get when he won, acting with childlike wonder.

“Did you perhaps rig my controller, Hinata-kun?” He joked at the cheering brunet, dangling the plastic in his hand as he leaned closer to other. “Hah, I would never. You just have to accept that you cannot beat the amazing Hinata Hajime!” He puffed his chest, looking proudly as he pointed a finger at himself to emphasize his point.

Komaeda shoved his sides against him in a playful body slam when the next round started, making them both chuckle childishly. After the impact, he didn’t intend to move, leaning his body against Hinata comfortably. They were sitting so close now, shoulders brushing against each other with every movement of the controller. He stopped paying attention to the screen in front of him, relishing in the warmth that was the brunet’s body, leaning against him subconsciously.

With the newfound distraction, Komaeda was stuck at last place now, but he didn’t care. The boy next to him felt warm, snuggling his head on top of broad shoulders, humming happily at the contact. He felt so safe with Hinata. He let his fingers glide over the controller lazily, gently pressing the buttons as he relaxed against the form next to him.

A loud clatter of plastic hitting the ground made him look up in surprise. Hinata loomed over him dangerously, the controller he had in his hand previously now laid on the ground. He had placed both his hands on either side of his body, his wrists brushing against his legs as he inched forward. Komaeda’s mind told him to move back, to shove the other away, but his body stopped working, freezing at the sight of the other’s determined eyes locking with his uncertain ones.

They were so close now, he could practically taste the other’s breath as it danced on his lips. Komaeda gasped as green orbs relaxed, letting his lashes fall halfway over his eyes. The sun began to cast it’s light into the room again, beaming behind Hinata, making a halo of light cast around him. He looked so _beautiful_ right now, utterly breathtaking. He couldn’t help but smile when he noticed the yellow light from outside dance in green, making a masterpiece of shining colors. Komaeda tilted his chin up slightly, closing his eyes as if giving the other permission.

He was washed away by the warmth of the other, drowning in affection as Hinata cupped his cheek, rubbing his thumb over the skin lovingly as he closed the distance between them.

Their lips locked perfectly as if they had rehearsed the act at least ten times that day. His lips felt warm and soft against his, moving effortlessly into a kiss as hands shot up to grab chestnut strands desperately. Heat spread through his entire body with the other’s flesh against him, soft, pleasing sounds leaving the brunet as he eagerly kisses back.

Hands roamed on his sides, fingertips leaving behind a heated trail as he arched in the other’s arms. Their bodies intertwined, trying desperately not to leave any space between them, but in this position, it was harder than expected. Breaking the kiss with an annoyed sigh, Hinata pressed the other into the sheets and crawl on top of the slender body.

Being a bit more daring now, he gingerly let his hands move underneath the other’s white shirt, caressing the pale skin underneath it lovingly. Komaeda swallowed down a moan, his back curving upwards to the gentle touches. He felt like he was melting under Hinata’s arms, becoming vulnerable as noises spilled over his lips involuntarily, and he _loved_ every second of it.

Another kiss took away his breath, sucking in all the air in his body as he squirmed under the brunet’s grip, mewling desperately against the other’s flesh. The lack of oxygen made his head swirl, even more, combined with the pleasurable taste of the other made him gasp in ecstasy.

He pushed against the body on top of him weakly, not wanting to break the passionate spell between them, but he needed air. His face must’ve looked purple by now, gasping against the other’s lips like a fish out of the water when-

 

Gray eyes snapped open into the pillow, mouth trying to breathe in air desperately, but the cloth restricted it to do so. Turning on his back instead of laying on his stomach, he took in a shaky gulp of air. Images from his dream flashing through his mind, as sweet oxygen filled his lungs, make his usual pale complexion even paler. That was… _Hinata_.

He felt a shudder of disgust run down his spine. It wasn’t the fact that he dreamt about a boy, he was already aware of his sexuality, but the fact that he fantasized about an equal, about _trash_. Cheeks flustered in anger at the words, not sure if he was upset with himself because he had dreamt about the brunet, or mad because he just insulted said boy. With a groan, he quickly concluded it was the latter. He has no talents, no hope. So why… why did he feel like the other was important to him?

Another displeased groan left his lips as he noticed the heat in his abdomen, turning around aimlessly in the sheets as if to wish it away. After five minutes of moving on the mattress, he got up and walked towards the bathroom to take care of his little problem, signing in defeat. How _disgusting_.

He thanked his luck that it was his left hand that was injured, not his _right_ one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /Oh, Komaeda. you naughty boy!/
> 
>  
> 
> This was really hard for me to write because I wanted to feel rushed and surrealistic since it's a dream and all. But I didn't like how it turned out so I had to re-write the entire thing and I'm still not too happy about it. So I apologize if it's so short.
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy it nonetheless, next chapter will be better, I promise!


	9. Poetic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That’s fortunate…” He seemed deep in thought, tapping his pencil against his cheek impatiently. He wanted to say something but looked like he was afraid to do so. Komaeda nudged him with his own pen, edging him on to just say what he wanted to instead of staring off into the distance.

It was Friday by now, and they had decided to fill in and organize all the papers at their last break, not having the time to do it after class. Komaeda was content with the idea, but Hinata was visibly disappointed that he had to give up his break time to sort out boring paperwork. He couldn’t help but make fun of the other’s frowning face every now and then, only for it to soften in a smile as he laughed along with the fake mockery.

Most of the work was done, making neat stacks of everything to make it easier for their appointment with their coach, Kizakura, later that day. Komaeda would lie if he said he wasn’t slightly nervous, writing reports wasn’t his best trait, after all. In the end, the brunet had helped him more than he would’ve liked to admit, basically saving them from a harsh scold from the Kirigiri. Hinata was surprisingly good at basic classes, understanding nearly everything. It was safe to say he was probably one, if not the, smartest in the class. Then again, it’s not like he had a lot of competition, he thought jokingly as he scanned the now empty desks.

He admired their talents, really do, but… let’s just say some of them weren’t the brightest in the bunch.

He glanced at the boy next to him, flipping through papers quickly. he was having a hard time maintaining eye contact with the brunet, images from his dream the night before flashing through his mind when looking into the green orbs. He probably looked a little flustered, because Hinata had asked him if he was feeling well for the fourth time that day, Komaeda just brushed it off, waving his bandaged hand in the air to signal he was okay.

Eyes followed the movement of his arms curiously. “How’s your hand doing, anyways… Does it still hurt?” Eyebrows shot up in concern as he let his eyes scan the wound carefully as if a too hard gaze would hurt the delicate skin.

“It’s fine, my wrist is just a little swollen. Tsumiki had told me it would be healed in a few days if I kept the swelling down.” He moved the hand freely as to signal that it was fine, biting back a dishonorable grunt when he snapped it a little too hard, feeling a pang of pain shot through his hand.

“That’s fortunate…” He seemed deep in thought, tapping his pencil against his cheek impatiently. He wanted to say something but looked like he was afraid to do so. Komaeda nudged him with his own pen, edging him on to just say what he wanted to instead of staring off into the distance.

“So… does this kind of thing happen more often?” He pointed at the hand adorned in white bandages to show what he was talking about. “With your luck and all?” Komaeda’s face grimaced at the question, nearly spitting out the next words to a rather surprised Hinata. “I hate my luck.”

“But why, it seems like such an amazing talent?” _For someone who has no talent, maybe_. The words stung in his throat, but he was able to bite back the rude comment, settling in a more appropriate explanation instead.

“Do you know how when an animal is gifted with the miracle of life, it’s already in debt to the universe?” He sighed as his voice uttered the words smoothly. “One day, it has to give back to the earth that had created it, and die so it’s entire being would become the soil of a new life form.”

Hinata perked up at the more serious tone of the other, straining his ears to take in the words carefully. He acted like these were the first legible words coming out from Komaeda, and he didn’t know if he should feel honored by that, or insulted. Deciding the penetrating gaze of the brunet was distracting him too much, he let his eyes wander through the empty classroom, gray settling on the green chalkboard as he continued.

A heavy sigh before the words left his lips again, his voice sounding more monotone than he’d like to, but that’s what happened every time he was in deep thought. “It’s like a continuous cycle that goes on and on again.”

“Receiving something wonderful, only for it to be abruptly be taken back from you. But the joy of life’s gift is always overshadowed by the pain of death.” He played with a piece of paper that laid on the table, flickering the page between his fingers. “That’s like my talent, the push and pull of yin and yang, evening out each other to form a blank slate again.”

Ironically, the page that he was playing with was blank as well, ready to be littered in black ink. It felt fitting to the situation, but Komaeda couldn’t help but think the paper was simply there to mock him, the blankness on it reflecting on his life cruelly.

“But the scale of lady luck seems awfully unfair, doesn’t it, Hinata-kun?” He looked at said brunet for the first time since starting his explanation, green eyes looked back at him with newfound interest, almost sparkling as he soaked up the information.

It felt rehearsed, the sentences sounding so familiar to him since he had thought about the words a lot. The reason why he was cursed with this talent was unbeknownst to him. He had tried to figure out what it was exactly, and when he realized the pure power of it, he couldn’t help but feel scared.

This is what his life has sunken down to, being scared of _himself_. Acceptance happened a long time ago, almost embracing the misfortune in his life simply because he _knew_ that one day, his luck would grant him total redemption. That’s how he liked to think how it worked, anyway. It was quite ironic that he believed so much in his talent, even though he hated it with a passion.

He realized a little too late that he was deep in thought, leaving the two to sit in an uncomfortable silence. A warm hand was placed on top of his, gently patting it in comfort. He looked up from the hand that was awkwardly on his, up towards Hinata’s gentle smile. He didn’t say a word, but his eyes shone understandingly, almost looking at him in pity.

He felt the blood in his face drain. He wasn’t supposed to react like _that_. Komaeda chuckled happily, the heavy aura between them lightening with each crackle of his voice. “It’s something I read in a book once. _Poetic_ , don’t you think?”

He lied smoothly, not blinking an eye as he made up the words on the spot. The brunet’s face turned from shock to pain and _anger_. He didn’t blame the other for reacting like that, this was his plan all along. The words sounded bitter in his head as if contrasting with the warmth of sympathy he had received mere seconds ago.

This is what he always had done, the moment he opened up to someone, he would put his mask on again, pretending he was joking, _lying_ even. He got used to it by now, but it’s been a while since his usual demeanor has cracked in front of someone. He blamed Hinata for that.

“So, what you just said was all a lie?” His tone was strict but slightly hopeful. As if he would forgive Komaeda if he simply told him that, no, he didn’t lie. He couldn’t have that, though, it would be too dangerous to accept the brunet’s comfort, for the both of them.

_I’m sorry, Hinata-kun._

He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, raising his slender arms slowly as he cocked his head to the side. “I lied.” The brunet in front of him seemed to choke on his own spit at the carefreeness of his words, eyes shooting daggers as he watched Komaeda open his mouth again. “It’s your fault for trusting someone like me in the first place… Then again, I shouldn’t have expected a reserve course student to realize that.”

Hinata grumbled, face slightly flustered in anger and, probably embarrassment from this insult. “Let’s just continue this, okay.” He waved one of their reports in the air impatiently.

They went back to writing, the air around them tense as shoulders slumped slightly. The brunet still did his best to keep the mood light, asking irrelevant questions every now and then to keep their absent conversation going. This time, the questions were more lighthearted, sentenced like ‘what’s your favorite food’ and compliments about his handwriting filled the silence.

Hinata seemed to pull on him no matter what he did, while Komaeda kept pushing him away for their wellbeing. But his strength had weakened, and he just wanted to lay down while the brunet pulled and pulled at him, sank deep inside of him and rid him of all these bottled up emotions.

He always said he wanted to feel loved, after all. His resolve cracking at every kind action Hinata did for him, his heart swelling with every warm smile he got from the other. Why must something as wonderful as love hurt so much?

“Hey, Komaeda…” Hinata looked up from the papers, contrary to the strict tone of his voice, his face seemed gentle. “You shouldn’t lie to me, that’s not what friends do.” A reassuring smile formed on his face, patting the white haired male on the shoulder before getting up and picking up his bag pack. “I’ll be going to the cafeteria really quick so I can still grab some lunch before class starts, okay?”

Komaeda nodded, surprise lingering in his features. What had just happened, did Hinata see through his lie and call him out on that? And more important than that, did he just call him a _friend_? He followed the body leaving the classroom cautiously as if he would turn around and laugh at his face, that he was joking all along. But that never happened.

He looked down at the papers sprawled on his desk, a small smile creeping up on his face as he noticed a small writing on one of the blank papers. The side of it still a little crinkled as he had played with it before previously. The words were small, but nearly written, filling the page with just one sentence.

‘ _It’ll be okay._ ’

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /Stop trying to push Hinata away, he can see through your lies!/


	10. Disappointment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Komaeda nodded as he gripped the paper tightly. He knew they didn’t do too great on the forms, but with Hinata’s help, he was sure they were passable, at least. He has to do better next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah, you guys, I'm SO sorry for making you wait this long for a new chapter! I only have myself to blame on this. I'm going to do my best and get back on a regular updating system again, please, do accept my apology!

Their appointment with Kizakura didn’t go as good as planned. The scout clearly unimpressed with their progress, disappointment clearly showing on his features as he flipped through the pages with a deep sigh. Komaeda had lied if he said the reaction didn’t make him feel a little uneasy, shifting on his feet with every grumble that left the older man.

Seeing the pained faces of the two students in front of him, Kizakura softened, reassuring them that any visible improvement at this short notice wasn’t to be expected yet, but the look in his eyes said otherwise. He wasn’t the greatest liar.

“Tell you what, I think these need somewhat of an improvement for next time, So I’ll give you the mail address of another participant in the project. Please contact him.”

He hastily scribbling down sloppily on a torn piece of paper, his handwriting looking messy and almost illegible, before getting up and walking towards the students.

“He's an exceptional student, and I think he'll be able to help you to improve the layout for your weekly reports.” He places a slip of paper in front of Komaeda’s face, wiggling it in the air impatiently. “They're very important to us, you see. Since they'll be reevaluated after the year is done so we can study the progress.”

“Thank you.” Taking the paper, the scout turned around towards Hinata, giving him a scold about what had happened in the gym last week. Komaeda still felt guilty that he had taken the blame when it was clearly his fault, but the other’s braveness had saved him from expulsion.

“I highly recommend to contact him, since he's in the overseas building there isn't a possibility he could join us today.”

Komaeda nodded as he gripped the paper tightly. He knew they didn’t do too great on the forms, but with Hinata’s help, he was sure they were passable, at least. He has to do better next time.

 

-

 

‘Another one... this is the third mail I have received from the people inside the program.’

With a heavy sigh, he had written a mail to the address that he had received from their coach. He didn’t want to get any more help with this, so why bother an ultimate with his petty problems. The student, Kamukura Izuru, according to the paper in his hands, had replied almost instantly to his mail. The words looked rough and bored on the screen, literally dripping annoyance through the ink. Komaeda felt a shiver of unease tremble down his spine, not really sure what to reply to this. He settled for the usual answer, that usually worked for him.

 

‘Ah, I shouldn’t have expected an ultimate like yourself to waste your time on someone like me. My apologies for bothering you.’

 

‘Just send me the files and I'll tell you what to improve.’

 

The reply came just as fast as last time, was this guy glued to his computer or something? Komaeda did as he was told, sending him all the files that they have worked on previously. The documents contained his name, so it was only natural for the other to know who he was. What he didn’t expect was what Kamukura had actually sent him, needing to read the line twice before understanding what it said.

 

‘Komaeda Nagito, I've heard from you. You're the student that blew up the gymnasium, aren't you?’

 

How did the other know that? He was pretty sure that fact was kept secret by the higher up, most teachers didn’t even know what exactly had happened that faithful day. Even his classmates were unaware, but they probably figured that out by connecting the missing pieces.

 

‘You’re right! I’m very impressed, I shouldn’t have expected any less from someone with a beautiful talent!’

 

‘My knowledge knows no boundaries, Komaeda-kun. Do not underestimate me.’

 

A short explanation was given about the forms, Komaeda editing them with each new instruction he received. As harsh as Kamukura sounded it the beginning, he was equally helpful. The messages softening with each passing minute, making their contestations more lighthearted, sending mails even after all the reports were done taken care off.

 

‘I have to say, you certainly caught my attention.

Why don’t you give me your phone number, it’ll be more convenient to communicate that way.’

 

And that’s how the messages started coming. They talked about mundane things, Komaeda mainly about their school and students, asking how the overseas building was while Kamukura was more interested in talking about the other’s luck.

 

The other seemed highly disappointed in the overseas building, and he had talked about how he wanted to transfer to the main building. Sadly, for Kamukura, they had told him that it wasn’t a possibility. He said he would find a way eventually, Komaeda not knowing what he meant with that, but didn’t want to pry.

 

 

**Kamukura-sama:**

So, how awful is your peasant? The girl I have is truly insane, she keeps on babbling about being the ‘ultimate little sister’.

If she wasn’t such a foul-mouth, she’d even be half cute. Such a shame.

 

**You:**

Oh, Hinata-kun? He’s actually really nice (ﾟヮﾟ)

 

**Kamukura-sama:**

Want to trade with mine? I’d gladly take him off your hands for you.

 

**You:**

Haha, thank you for the offer, but I don’t even think something like that is possible.

Besides, for a reserve course student, Hinata-kun really isn’t that bad

 

**Kamukura-sama:**

You have a thing for him?

 

**You:**

What!? Of course not! That would be ridiculous

 

**Kamukura-sama:**

He doesn’t deserve you, you know. Why would you fall for a simple reserve course student? How pathetic.

 

**You:**

I already said I didn’t like him, though…

 

**Kamukura-sama:**

Well, then I better step up my game to win over Komaeda Nagito.

 

**You:**

What!?

 

**Kamukura-sama:**

I’m just messing with you…

Unless you want me to do that~

 

-

 

The sound of his phone buzzing woke Komaeda up, the small light blinking into the darkness impatiently.

He couldn’t help the feeling of unease wash over him as he turned on his phone. He didn’t get a lot of texts in the first place, today being an exception because of Kamukura, but he didn’t expect one in the middle of the night. The screen shone brightly, making Komaeda squinted, momentarily being blinded by the light. It took him a full minute for his eyes to adjust to the device in his hands, to finally being able to read the words.

 

 

**Hinata:**

Hey, are you awake?

 

 

Another minute passed before he was able to make the connection who had send the message to him. Averting his eyes to the small clock on top of the screen. 02:46. He grunted, typing back a message lazily.

 

 

**You:**

I am now

Why are you up this late

 

**Hinata:**

Did I wake you up?

I’m so sorry!

I couldn’t sleep…

 

 

He didn’t even seem sorry at all! Rubbing his eyes did make him feel a little bit more awake, so he did it again, a little more harshly this time as if trying to push away the sleepiness.

 

 

**You:**

Don’t worry bout it

 

**Hinata:**

Are you nervous for the monthly test next week?

 

**You:**

Not really

My tests are easy, I don’t really have to do anything, just rely on my luck

 

**Hinata:**

Lucky…

 

**You:**

Are you nervous, then?

 

**Hinata:**

Very.

Apparently, half the class is nervous, I’m afraid to ask them for help.

Don’t want to disturb them, you know?

 

**You:**

You need help with studying?

 

**Hinata:**

Ah, not need… but it would be convenient.

 

**You:**

Want me to come to your place tomorrow?

Well, technically it’s today already, but you know what I mean

 

**Hinata:**

That would be wonderful!

But, can we go to your place instead?

My roommates are the reason I can’t sleep in the first place, and judging by the sounds, it’s probably going to look like a dumpster shat all over the place tomorrow.

 

**You:**

Sounds like the natural habitat for you reserve course students \\(•◡•)/

But, sure

 

**Hinata:**

Hey!

How does 14:00 sound? Hopefully, I’ll be well rested by then...

 

**You:**

You really need to tell your roommates to call it a day, already

 

**Hinata:**

I tried to.

They just blamed me for being an introvert

 

**You:**

Such big words for a drunk!

 

**Hinata:**

Let’s just say they said it a little more differently…

And, with a lot more swearing.

 

 

They talked until the clock read 03:39, Komaeda now officially kissing his sleep goodbye. He didn’t mind it, though, he always had a smile on his face when talking to Hinata, recently. He really hoped the other hadn’t noticed that.

 

 

**Hinata:**

I think I heard something break, I have to check up on them so they don’t destroy the entire place.

Thanks for keeping me company at this time, I do hope I didn’t accidently woken you up!

 

**You:**

I was already awake, don’t worry

Make sure to not get thrown up on! (~^▽^~)

 

**Hinata:**

I’ll try my best…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /Nothing fun to read here, I loath this chapter./
> 
>  
> 
> So, yeah. Kamukura is extremely OOC in this fic, but, you know. This is a version of him that didn't went through a lobotomy to surgically remove the boy's feelings, not to justify it, but just letting you know. Oh, and I made him a giant flirt, for plot purposes.


	11. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’s wrong?” A monotone voice snapped him out of his daze, looking up to look his classmate in the eye. A sounds erupting from the handheld as he did, signaling in his death. He groaned, letting his hand stroke through his tresses as he did.

It was another lovely day at Hope’s peak academy, the sun had shone brightly as the wind rustled the leaves, giving off the scent that was spring. It was a perfect end of the school week, and he wouldn’t have spent his Friday evening any other way. But instead of looking up at the beautiful skies above him, his eyes were glued to the small handheld in his hands, furiously pressing the buttons as he did.

He could not lose this game, but his mind was too occupied with other things. The test had been this week, and even though he felt good about how it went, the grades were not back yet. The questions were hard, and it had giving him quite the sleepless nights, but after studying as much as he did, he had faith that he would pass it.

“What’s wrong?” A monotone voice snapped him out of his daze, looking up to look his classmate in the eye. A sounds erupting from the handheld as he did, signaling in his death. He groaned, letting his hand stroke through brown tresses as he did.

“Nothing is…” He lied, locking his eyes with pink once, staring hard as if that would make his lie more believable. The girl next to him had none of that, she was always so sharp.

“I beat you ten times in a row, come on, Hinata. Tell me or try to be better.” She pouted, crossing her arms as if he had just mocked her. She could be quite dramatic if she wanted to be. Hinata laughed at her reaction, finding it endearing that she wanted him to do better at the game.

“You can’t expect me to beat you, Nanami.” He waved the blue GameGirl in his hand, seeing her eyes follow it intently. “You are the ultimate gamer, after all.”

She looked down with a small smile, feeling a little proud at his words before looking back up again. She had turned off her console now, a rare occurrence for her which even surprised Hinata, and looked at him strictly. He was getting ready for a lecture about paying attention, but all he got was a soft ‘you can tell me anything, you know’. He sighed, why was she always this good at piecing things together? It was probably all those puzzle games she had played.

“Well…” Rubbing the side of his neck nervously, he broke eye contact. Her stare was so determent, it was making him uncomfortable. “Komaeda started talking with this dude online, I think he’s in the overseas building or something” Looking at a leaf that flew by, he continued. “I have a bad feeling about the guy.”

“Why?” She cocked her head to the side, pressing a finger to her cheek.

“They just talk, a lot, you know?” Realizing how selfish he sounded, he decided to try and explain it again. “When he was supposed to help me last weekend, his phone kept buzzing! And it seems like he’s paying less attention to class this week as well.” Nope, still sounded selfish.

“Any idea what they talk about?”

Avoiding his gaze before answering, green orbs fixating on a small pebble on the ground. “No idea…” He knew he was a bad liar, but maybe, just maybe, if the other didn’t see his face, she wouldn’t realize.

“You’re a terrible liar, Hinata.” His hopes were shattered by her even voice, groaning in defeat.

“Okay, fine. I might have peeked at his phone during gym to check their conversation.” He flailed his hands up in defense. “But only because I was worried!”

“You don’t have to explain your actions to me, you know. So what was it about?” Her eyebrows were raised, but she decided not to scold him for invading someone’s privacy. It was Komaeda’s fault for not having a lock screen in the first place, it’s like it asked to be snooped at!

“Well… Komaeda seemed to talk a lot about his classmates.” _Mostly about me, but that detail would be better left unsaid_.

“And, Kamukura, he just. I honestly don’t know if Komaeda is feigning innocence or if he really doesn’t take the hint.”  He thought back to their messages with a shudder. “The guy throws sexual innuendos and suggestive questions in nearly every sentence.”

He felt a blush creep on his face when he remembered their weird conversations. One of them in particular stuck in his mind. They were talking about snacks or something irrelevant when Kamakura had asked him ‘How many marshmallows can fit in your mouth.’

 

 

**You:**

That’s a weird question

I wouldn’t know, to be honest

I’m not too fond of sweets, I prefer salty things.

 

**Kamukura-sama:**

Good to know.

 

 

His blush deepened as he let the words play in his head, making Nanami look at him in confusion, a finger tapping her chin in thought. “Is Hinata jealous?”

“What, no. Why would I be jealous? That’s ridiculous!” He didn’t realize how loudly he had said it until the girl next to him threw him a knowing smirk. A soft ‘I see’ left her lips almost mockingly.

“Then why are you so worried?” The smile was still dancing on her lips as she asked that, but she decided to play along. The smart girl.

“It’s just that, you know how much of a doormat he can be when an ultimate asks him to…” He explained. “I’m just scared he’ll do something stupid because of the guy!”

“Maybe you should talk with him about it if you’re that concerned about his wellbeing”

“He won’t listen to me…” That’s true. Komaeda still had a hard time taking his advice since he was just a ‘reserve course student’. There was no way he would listen to him.

“Just because you don’t have a talent doesn’t mean people won’t take your advice, Hinata.” She placed a reassuring hand on his shoulders and squeezed it a little, her smile shining brightly in the afternoon sun. “Just talk with him.”

He mumbled a ‘thanks’, it was barely audible, but the fact that she leaned back into the bench again and started her GameGirl meant she heard it. Hinata laughed, turning on his own device as he did. “Where would I be without you, Nanami.”

“Still stuck at chapter 5 of this game, now let’s go and play again!”

 

-

 

Jealousy did cloud Hinata’s mind after finding out he got so friendly with someone else. He hated being this selfish, but he just couldn’t help himself. He blamed the other for making him feel like this in the first place, blamed him for not recognizing the, in his eyes, obvious moves. The other sure was thickheaded when it came to social interactions.

He didn’t know when he started to develop a crush on the other, but thinking back, it might have been the moment when he had first laid eyes on Komaeda, his uncanny appearance striking to Hinata

The wave of white hair was what he noticed first, and he couldn't help but want to comb a brush through the unruly hair. Even though the strands were all over the place, it didn't seem like it was neglected. On the contrary, even, it looked soft and well maintained, just like the boy’s clothes, not a single wrinkle being seen on his outfit. 

The second things he noticed was hard, gray eyes staring at him with disgust. The gaze sent a shiver down his spine. The boy didn't look dangerous, with the paleness of his skin and his lanky figure. he looked quite feeble, actually. But the gaze had told him otherwise, that there was some kind of danger seeping inside the boy. He was quite the mysterious person, at first glance, and the longer he interacted with Komaeda, the more mysterious he became.

Maybe it was they pure _mystery_ oozing out of the other that pulled him in or the way those gray orbs would show so many emotions, that his face and voice refused to let out. He would drown in those eyes, trying to swim to the depths of what was Komaeda and just try and figure him out, and unlock the secret that was him. 

Their first exchange was brief, the other not amused with his predicament.   
Later that night, the same pale skin haunted him in his, not so innocent, dream. 

Komaeda was very distanced the first few times they talked, and it should've pushed Hinata away. He should've lost interest at that point. But instead, he only wanted to crack the guy more, to see who he really is, to turn that frown up into a smile. So he did, he tried his hardest, he always tried to smile around him, always did his best to initiate conversations, and hope the boy would return that smile one day.

Some conversations didn't go as he had planned, though. He has to admit, he was freaked out when those usually calm and emotional eyes swirled with what he could only call despair. He tried to stay away for a while after that, but with every secret glance, his heart would ache uncomfortably. He always looked so lonely, Hinata wanted to change that. He wanted to be there for the other, to be his friend. 

To maybe be _more_ than that 

Instead of feeling scared of Komaeda, he only grew more protective over him. Only felt the desire to pick him apart strengthen. He wanted to understand him so badly, those gray eyes looked so sad, he wanted them to lit up in happiness and laugh.   
  
Because his laugh, his _genuine_ laugh, was the most beautiful thing he has ever heard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /Hinata is so gay, omg./


	12. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He looked at his bag as he closed his phone, the piece of paper from a week ago was still inside it. He didn’t have the heart to throw it away, so he kept it in his school bag instead. He didn’t want to admit that something so insignificant meant a lot to him, the words always making him feel better as he thought about them, except now.
> 
> Will it really be okay, Hinata-kun?

**Hinata:**

We need to talk.

 

 

The message was short and direct, but it was just as effective to make a shiver run down’s Komaeda’s spine. He’s used to annoying or scaring people to the point they had distanced themselves from him, but he had thought Hinata was different.

Apparently not.

He slacked against his couch, reading the message, again and again, not knowing what to reply to it. He settled for a simple ‘okay’, trying not to show that he was affected by the message. He couldn’t show his weakness, especially now that he’s being put in such a vulnerable situation.

They had decided to meet up at his place since it was Friday and Hinata’s roommates would probably set the place on fire by now. Komaeda was not in the mood to have a serious talk with the other while being surrounded by drunks.

As he waited for him to arrive, he told Kamukura that he wouldn’t be able to text for a while since Hinata had asked him to talk for a bit. The other seemed quite mad at the idea, telling him to call off their meeting.

 

 

**You:**

Why would I tell him no?

It’s probably about something unimportant, maybe he felt bad about how he did at the test?

 

**Kamukura-sama:**

I still say you shouldn’t let him in.

I don’t trust the guy.

**You:**

Hinata-kun? He’s probably the most reliable person in the world! Don’t worry about it.

**Kamukura-sama:**

I told you not to talk with him…

Are you taking his word over mine?

He’s talentless scum, he doesn’t deserve your attention.

**You:**

Hinata isn’t scum.

Besides, we’re trying to influence him into learning a talent with the program!

Just imagine the hope that’ll radiate off from him if he’s an ultimate.

**Kamukura-sama:**

Fabricated talent could never compete with actual talent.

You shouldn’t look up at him like that.

 

**You:**

You really think so?

**Kamukura-sama:**

Are you doubting my reasoning?

I expected more from you, Komaeda.

**You:**

You’re right, I shouldn’t doubt someone as amazing as yourself.

My Apologies, Kamakura-sama.

But, it’s too late to cancel it now, he should be here any moment.

**Kamukura-sama:**

Tell him to go away, then.

**You:**

If that’s what you want, then I shall.

**Kamukura-sama:**

Good.

He looked at his bag as he closed his phone, the piece of paper from a week ago was still inside it. He didn’t have the heart to throw it away, so he kept it in his school bag instead. He didn’t want to admit that something so insignificant meant a lot to him, the words always making him feel better as he thought about them, except now.

_Will it really be okay, Hinata-kun?_

 

**-**

“Hey, Hinata-kun…” He opened the door further so the brunet could step inside. “Come on in.”

The brunet did just that, mumbling a soft ‘hello’ as he walked into Komaeda dorm room, standing in the middle of the room awkwardly. “We need to talk.” He was swaying on his legs now, is hands pocketed deep inside the jeans he was wearing.

“I figured as much by the text you send me.” Komaeda followed, leaving against the back of the couch as he faced Hinata. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s about the guy whom you’ve been chatting with this past week.” He took in a deep breath, steadying himself and stilling his body again as he looked the white-haired boy in the eye. “I know I’m in no place to judge you, but I believe he has a bad influence on you.”

“Why would you say that?”

“He’s only using you, Komaeda.” He averted his gaze for a little, only to look back into gray eyes again a second later. He was tempted to stare at the furniture instead, but he had to be strong. “I want to protect you.”

Komaeda though for a little, the texts of Kamukura still fresh in his mind. He had promised him to send Hinata away, but now that the brunet was here he was having a hard time telling him to go. “Maybe it would be best if you leave.” He mumbled as he looked at the floor.

Hinata crossed his arms as he grumbled, displeased with the proposal. “Did Kamukura tell you to kick me out?”

“Well… Maybe.” He fidgeted with his shirt, not wanting to see the other’s expression, purposely avoiding eye contact. He lowered his voice to a whisper, hoping the other wouldn’t hear. “I’m sorry Hinata-kun.”

He heard the other move towards him, and he braced himself for a hit. Hinata didn’t seem like the most violent person, but Komaeda seems the pull out these kind of reactions from the calmest of people.

“What did he tell you?” His voice sounded low, almost disappointed. He looked genuinely sad, and it was the first time Komaeda had seen the other like this. He shifted on his feet uncomfortably, not wanting to answer the question when the brunet was like this.

But the stare he received edged him to tell him already. Lowering his voice, he complied, staring at his shoes that were extremely interesting right now. “That you’re talentless scum…”

A minute passed before he replied to that, the silence growing heavier and heavier by the second, making Komaeda squirm uncomfortably. He was about to tell him to leave again, to tell him he didn’t mean that. Tell him anything, really, as long as it wasn’t this silent.

“Well,” Hinata sighed after a while. “He’s right.”

That was not the reaction Komaeda had expected, snapping his head up to gaze into green eyes in surprise. Did he hear that right? He was about to ask him, opening his mouth when Hinata silenced by taking in a deep breath.

“People used to call me scum all the time.” He shrugged, his body trying to brush it off as something he didn’t care about, but his eyes betrayed him. Green orbs swimming in emotions.

“But, ever since I got accepted into the program, I felt like I had changed.” He was squeezing his hands into fists now, probably reliving the memory as he explained himself. “I felt so happy, my entire demeanor changed when I got the news. I felt like I was finally able to be significant.”

“It gave me a boost in my confidence…” He lowered his head, breaking eye contact with Komaeda as he did. His voice sounded so weak, this wasn’t the confident and cheerful Hinata he had met on the first day. “I realize that I’m still talentless.”

“You were self-conscious?” It was all he was able to say, his voice feeling tight after the other had poured out his emotions like that. He was not used to situations like this.

Lucky for him, Hinata just chuckled, rubbing his neck in embarrassment. “Very. I guess I still kind of am, but.” He breathed in, looking at Komaeda strictly as if directing the sentence towards him. “Drowning in self-loathe won't get me anywhere, you know?”

“Kamukura says the ones that are self-depreciating probably deserve it. Since there is a truth in everyone’s actions.” Komaeda shrugged, a smile plastered on his face. The smile soon turned into a frown as Hinata looked at him with a scowl.

“I don’t like you talking with that guy.” He was back at it again, telling him not to talk with the other student. Why he cared so much about that, he didn’t know.

“Is Hinata-kun forbidding me to have a relationship with Kamukura-kun?”

“R-Relationship…?” He stumbled over his words, looking at Komaeda with wide eyes, as he simply pulled his hands up in defense as if telling him it’s ‘not like that’.

“Well, it is a bit of a big word, someone as amazing as him would never consider me as a friend.” Komaeda explained himself with a sheepish smile, effectively making the brunet relax again.

“Can you just, not be his friend. A-And be my friend instead?”

“Are you perhaps jealous?” He pressed his finger against his jaw as he cocked his head to the side, feeling his white threshes tickle his face as he did.

“What! No!” He screamed out the ‘no’ part, clearing his throat before continuing. “I just called dibs on you first, it’s only fair if you’re mine.” Hinata was twirling a loose thread that was hanging from his shirt now, effectively breaking eye contact.

“Dibs?” He decided not to comment on the ‘mine’ part since he saw a blush form on Hinata’s cheeks once he had said the word. He didn’t want to embarrass him any further than this, as amusing and adorable he looked flustered.

“You know… like calling shotgun in a car.” He laughed a little uncomfortably, trying to explain his reasoning. “But with a person.” He was gesturing with his hands now, having a face of uttermost concentration as he moved his palms in the air.

“Is this a confession, Hinata-kun?” He couldn’t help the small smile forming as he saw Hinata stutter at this.

“W-What!?” He didn’t deny the question, though, and it made Komaeda’s heart swell with unknown feelings.

“So, what does that make us, then?”

Hinata seemed to be in thought for a moment, trying his best to word his feelings without making him look like a fool. Make him look more like a fool than he already was, that is. “… _Friends_ , I guess?”

“Friends?” Komaeda internally hit himself for sounding the slightest bit disappointed at that. He shouldn’t have expected anything, really, but with the way Hinata was asking this, he couldn’t help feeling somewhat hopeful. “I see. And I’m not allowed to have a relationship with anyone else?”

“Exactly!” The brunet was smiling now, flashing his teeth while doing so, feeling accomplished by explaining what he meant. The slight tint of pink still dusted on his cheeks. He mumbled something under his breath that Komaeda had failed to register, but he decided it was unimportant and didn’t pay it any mind.

“I don’t know why you would want to be friends with someone like me, but I’ll respect Hinata-kun’s wishes-”

His sentence was cut short when warm arms embraced his torso, making Komaeda’s breath hitch in his throat at the action. He felt short hair tickling his neck, mixed with the warmth of another body pressed against him. He could _swear_ he felt the other’s heartbeat against his chest with the close proximity that they were in, the faint feeling relaxing him as he leaned into the hug.

_What just happened?_

“Thank you, Komaeda.” He felt Hinata’s face snuggle against his shoulder for the briefest of seconds, before loosening his arms again and taking a step backward, breaking their embrace.

They stood there for a few seconds, just looking into each other’s eyes, not know what to do or what say. Komaeda felt his gaze lower towards the brunet’s lips, licking his own subconsciously at the sight before realizing what he was doing and looking back up to stare into those green, piercing eyes again. The spell was broken when Hinata smiled and broke eye contact in order to move.

“Hey, why don’t we do anything fun now?” Hinata walked towards the couch, plopping down on it with an extensive sigh. “I didn’t bring my game console, but I’m pretty sure there are some fun movies we can watch online.” He patted the spot next to him, telling the other to sit down as well.

“O-Okay.” Komaeda stuttered as he walked to his newfound ‘friend’. Was that even the correct term to use, he didn’t know. But he didn’t care either way.

It did turn out to be okay, just like Hinata had promised him a little while ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /Kamukura's talent is ultimate plot-device./
> 
>  
> 
> GUYS, nearly 200 kudo's!?  
> What, I can't even! Everyone who's reading this; thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! Your feedbacks mean so much to me, so everyone who's bothered to leave a like or a comment, YOU'RE THE BEST!
> 
>  
> 
> Special thanks to my friend Emzalina who beta'd this chapter for me!


	13. Café

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why did I agree being your friend, again?” He was grumbling now, but a hint of humor was clear on his face. He could never get mad, no matter what the taller one did, and it made him only more eager to push his buttons to see what his limit would be.

They had started to hang out more after that one eventful day, much to the dismay of Hinata’s self-proclaimed ‘soul friend’, Souda. Komaeda had noticed the questionable faces of their classmates, their gazes seemed to follow them now that they were together nearly all day.

He knew that the other’s weren’t too fond of him, so it came to no surprise that they were reluctant to speak with Hinata now that they decided to be ‘friends’ with each other. The only person that didn’t seem to bat an eye on their newfound closeness was Nanami, who would always tap away on her GameGirl like usual.

Thinking back, Komaeda was unsure if he should call their relationship a ‘friendship’. The suggestion a little more than a month ago had sounded more like a confession of love than a request for a friend. It was selfish of himself to think Hinata would even think about him romantically, so he pushed that thought out of his mind immediately. There was simply no way for that to be possible, nobody would love trash like himself.

It’s not like he could complain, though. Being friends with the brunet was dangerous enough as it is, let alone have a relationship with him.

It was bittersweet for him to admit that he cares about the other, a hopeless reserve course student. He had got to know the other quite well with the increased conversations, and every mindless chat made his adoration for Hinata grow to an almost painful extent. He shouldn’t fall for someone talentless, but then again, he wasn’t worthy of falling for someone filled with hope either.

He was pulled out of his daze when something was tossed towards him, Komaeda flinched, expecting a book, brick or a punch, only to flail on his chair when it turned out to be a crumpled up post-it note. Warm laughter filled his ears as he straightened in his seat again, a small blush creeping on his cheeks at the embarrassing gesture.

“W-What?” His voice faltered, but he refused to show his discomfort on his face, staring hard at the figure sitting across of him. Hinata was laughing with glee as he wiped away non-existing tears from his eyes. The taller boy glared at him, but his gaze softened at the pure happiness that was shown on his features.

Instead of looking at the brunet’s face, which was making his neck itch in uncomfortable warmth, he decided to look down at the projectile that was thrown at him. The small piece of paper laying on the ground innocently, and Komaeda picked it up as to not litter in the library.

Hinata could be so inconsiderate sometimes.

“What was that for?” he held out the yellow note in question. “I understand you feel compelled to throw things at me, but I’d like an explanation next time... And a warning, if possible.”

Hinata let out a breath that sounded eerily like a soft chuckle. “You were spacing out, I called your name a couple of times but you didn’t budge. What I’d like to know what’s up with that kind of reaction, you looked like a train was about to hit you!”

The pale boy didn’t respond to that verbally, only crossed his arm and made a huffing noise. Others would often tell him he would act childish, but he has every right to do so!

“I asked you to study together, so that means you got to do some work too! You can’t just go off into la-la land and let me suffer alone.” His fingers twirled a black pen, only for it to slip from his grip and fall against the wood of the table loudly.

“You should’ve realized by now that trash like me is incapable of doing the most easy of tasks, Hinata-kun. You put too much faith in me for believing I _wouldn’t_ have dozed off.” Slender fingers pried open the piece of paper, ironing it with his palm and successfully straightening it into a proper note again.

“I rather you talk down on me than you talk down on yourself, you know that.” Hinata visible bit his tongue as if he said something wrong. “Or, better yet. Cut the entire talking down crap altogether.”

Komaeda snatched the pen that fell from the brunet’s fingers a few seconds ago, tapping it at his lips for a little before bringing it down on the yellow paper, scribbling down in his usual neat handwriting. Hinata tried to look at what he was writing, but as quickly as he started to draw on the paper, he was done just as fast, gripping the post-it and quickly slapped it on his classmate's forehead.

The sight was quite endearing, Hinata looking utterly confused with the sickly yellow piece of wrinkled paper sticking to his head. The frown that came made the post-it move and it took everything Komaeda had not to cry in laughter at the sight.

The note was small, so it was filled almost entirely with the single word written on it. ‘Idiot’, with a small arrow pointing down, and as if that wasn’t mocking enough, he put little hearts on top of the i’s as well. Hinata’s scowl grew when Komaeda’s laughter heightened in pitch, and he quickly grabbed the paper and slammed it on the table, staring at it with an intensity that would almost set the ink on fire.

“Why did I agree being your friend, again?” He was grumbling now, but a hint of humor was clear on his face. He could never get mad, no matter what the taller one did, and it made him only more eager to push his buttons to see what his limit would be.

Komaeda smiled wildly and clasped his hands together. “Because you love me, Hinata-kun!” the words were obvious meant to be teasing, but somehow the brunet’s name was uttered more in question that in confirmation, making the statement hang in the air awkwardly.

The silence grew heavy around them and it made Komaeda shiver in embarrassment. He cursed his lack of a filter, but didn’t try and apologize. An apology would only make it worse, after all, so instead he did what he could do best; pretend nothing ever happened.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m getting quite thirsty from all this studying.” His usual carefree smile was plastered on pale lips again. “Want to take a break and get something to drink?”

The library was prohibited of any kind of food, so they had to get out and go to the nearby café in order to get something. Komaeda wouldn’t mind, the dark library walls seemed like they were closing in on him already and he’d love to take a breath of fresh air again. They’re been studying for hours, anyway, they deserved a break.

-

“Did you see how the P.E. teacher looked at you today? I think she still blames you for breaking that window weeks ago.” their waiter put their drinks on the table, the both of them mumbling a soft ‘thank you’. “I honestly don’t know what her problem is...”

The small café was quiet as usual, only a couple of other students sitting on the small, round tables that were scatters through the room. It wasn’t the most aesthetically pleasing place, and their tea was mediocre at best, but with their limited options, one could not be picky.

“I still don’t believe you stood up for me, you could’ve been expelled!” His tone was harsh and scolding. It’s not like Komaeda _wanted_ to be mad at the other for his reckless behavior, but it was despairing to think he would be the cause of another student’s downfall, being a reserve course student or not.

“I don’t think people will be expelled for a clumsy mistake, calm down. Besides, I’m still in the program, so all went well!” He sipped at his orange juice calmly, totally unfazed by the other's outburst.

Komaeda was often envious of the carefree way the other would talk. _Genuinely_ carefree, and nothing like the way he had often faked the act. He wanted to be like that, to not worry about every little thing, or to plan ahead all steps in his mind, desperately trying to analyze how others would react.

The small bell chimed as more people walked into the café, a couple presumably. Or acquaintances who found it necessary to lock arms wherever they went, which was a ridiculous assumption. Now that he thought about it, drinking something at a small, private café as this does seem a lot like a thing you do on a date. Not that Komaeda knew, he has never been on one, after all.

He glanced at the brunet in front of him as he happily talked about one of his misadventures with his friend Souda, the words not really registering in his mind. He was too busy dozing off into the other’s eyes, nodding every now and then as if you give the illusion he was actually paying attention.

Hinata’s eye color was _different_ than the usual absurd hues his classmates sported. They weren’t something ridiculous like pink or red, the olive color was quite dull in comparison to the vivid colors of most of the ultimates. But somehow, it felt more appealing to the eye. The ordinary color palette felt more comfortable, like a reminder that Hinata was just that. _Ordinary_.

Komaeda didn’t mind the other being that as much anymore.

A slightly tanned hand was waved in front of his face, making his lidded eyes snap open in surprise. “Earth to Komaeda... Are you even listening?” His tone was bored, but those green eyes looked back at him with concern.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” The words were whispered so softly as if it was only a confirmation for himself.

“Wouldn’t it be a better idea to get some coffee instead?” Komaeda made a face of disgust at the mention of the bitter liquid. “You seem tired, are you sure you’re okay? We can stop studying after this if you want. It’s getting late anyway.”

“You shouldn’t worry about someone like me, Hinata-kun!”

“I don’t want to hear it. Why don’t we go and get you some fresh air, I rather you not faint on my watch.” he gulped down the last of his juice and slammed the glass down a little _too_ loudly. “I’m going to pay, you better finished your tea when I get back!”

Before Komaeda could utter the words ‘no’, the brunet was already rushing towards the check-out counter. If it didn’t seem like a date already, it sure looked like one with Hinata paying for his beverage. He wanted to complain and huff about the action, but he could help but feel a warmth creep up towards his cheeks at the idea.

He did drank down his tea quickly like he was asked to, the once hot water now merely being lukewarm. It tasted quite foul now, but he refused to let the drink go to waste. Especially now that he considered it a _gift_ from his classmate.

Staring towards the figure that was casually leaning against the counter, Komaeda couldn’t help but felt his eyes follow his arm as he reached towards the back pocket of his jeans to grab his wallet. He blushed once he realized he was practically staring at his ass, and quickly averted his gaze when he noticed the other turn around and walk back towards the table.

“You ready?” Hinata looked a little worried at his flushed face and outstretched his hand in order to help the other get up. The action made Komaeda face redden as he shyly looked away. “Let’s go.”

He smiled when his slender fingers wrapped around the strong hand that was offered to him. Hinata’s hand was soft as heat pouring out of his pores and clenched around him with calculated strength. Komaeda easily got up on his feet, the proximity way closer now that he was standing instead of sitting. The brunet squeezed his hand a for a second, making the other’s muscles turn into jelly.

It was a nice gesture, and he wished it would’ve lasted longer, but after the gently squeeze the warmth of the others flesh was already gone. His hand subconsciously followed to other’s leaving one, only to retreat after he realized what he was doing and let his arm fall limply to his side.

They stepped out of the small café with smiles tugging at their lips, their previous worries about their schoolwork long forgotten as they set foot into the evening air outside. Today was a _good_ day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> /NOW KISS./
> 
>  
> 
> God, I suck! I haven’t updated this in months!? I have some stuff I’m in the middle of that I won’t bother you guys with, so I cannot make any promises when the next update will be. Of course, I'll try my best to update as frequently as possible now that my writer's block (hopefully) is over!
> 
> For everyone who’s still reading, thank you so much for your patience!? You guys are saints and deserve regular updates! If I’m taking too long, please feel free to message me and make me get off my lazy ass to write!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading my story! I hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
> I'll try to at least update regularly, so stay tuned!
> 
> Rating is probably going up, later on, so beware.
> 
>  
> 
> All critique is welcome, English isn't my native language so my apologies for some of the mistakes.


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